Have you ever felt like you’ve been waiting for life to happen or chasing a dream that isn’t yours? Chanel Dokun, a therapist and life planner, helps women and all of us redefine our worth from the inside out instead of the outside in her book Life Starts Now: How to Create the Life You’ve Been Waiting For. UrbanFaith had the chance to chat with her has she releases this timely book with practical ways to stop waiting and start living.The full interview is above. More on the book below:
LIFE STARTS NOW:
HOW TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR
Did you think you’d finally be happy if you built a great career, found a meaningful romantic relationship, and crafted the picture-perfect life? But once you’ve gotten those things, you find yourself asking, Why isn’t this enough? Shouldn’t there be more? You’re not alone.
Chanel Dokun has walked hundreds of clients, just like you, through a similar journey of disillusionment because she’s traveled the same path herself. She spent years trying to achieve the lifestyle she thought she wanted, but with every accomplishment, Chanel found herself feeling more disappointed, disillusioned, and lost. She realized she needed to let go of society’s definition of success and become the architect of her own life.
In Life Starts Now, Chanel draws on her experience as a therapist and certified life planner to help you redefine what success really means as she offers practical strategies to help you create the life you are longing for. She shares
-an in-depth look at why society’s definitions of success and significance aren’t the answer in your search for more;
-practical action steps for unlocking your genius, finding your flair, and discovering your unique life purpose; and
-how the five postures of silence, solitude, generosity, gratitude, and play will take you from striving to thriving.
Life Starts Now will inspire you to release the search for significance and recover a redemptive view of your ordinary life so you can experience profound joy and fulfillment—and embrace your true purpose.
Embarking on the entrepreneurship journey can be a thrilling adventure reminiscent of a roller-coaster ride, with its exhilarating highs, daunting lows, and unexpected twists and turns. While the daily grind of being an actual CEO can be enjoyable, achieving success can sometimes feel like an obstacle course, leading us to question if entrepreneurship is indeed the right path for us.
Obstacles are inevitable in the world of entrepreneurship. However, you can overcome these challenges and achieve your goals with the right mindset and approach. Three essential tips can help you navigate obstacles as a faith-based CEO.
1. Prayer: Keeping God at the Center
As a faith-based CEO, prayer is a powerful tool to help you overcome obstacles. Keeping God first and at the center of your business decisions is essential. This means taking the time to pray and seek God’s guidance before making any significant decisions.
When you face obstacles, it is essential to trust God even when you cannot track Him. Remember that God’s ways are not ours. Sometimes, His plans for us may not be evident initially. However, with faith and patience, we can trust that God will work all things together for our good.
Prayer is also a great way to stay grounded and focused on what is truly important. When we spend time in prayer, we can be reminded of our purpose and mission, which can help us stay motivated and focused during challenging times.
2. Patience: Allowing Yourself Time to Grow
As a faith-based CEO, it is essential to understand that growth and success take time. It is easy to get discouraged when things take longer than we want them to. However, being patient and allowing yourself time to grow and develop is essential.
Remember that obstacles are not necessarily roadblocks; they can be opportunities for growth and learning. Instead of becoming frustrated when things do not go as planned, try to see obstacles as opportunities to learn and improve.
It is also essential to be patient with others. As a leader, you may be working with people who need to be on the same page or need more time to understand your vision. Take the time to communicate clearly and be patient with them as they learn and grow alongside you.
While being patient with others is essential, it’s also easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism and harsh judgment. However, as a faith-based CEO, it’s crucial to remember to give yourself grace in the process. Building a successful business takes time, effort, and patience, and it’s essential to acknowledge that there will be setbacks and mistakes along the way. Giving yourself grace allows you to learn and grow from these experiences without being weighed down by self-doubt and negativity.
Furthermore, as a mompreneur or anyone balancing multiple responsibilities, it’s essential to recognize that taking breaks and prioritizing self-care is okay. Burnout and exhaustion can easily lead to a lack of focus and productivity, making it vital to take the necessary steps to recharge and refocus. Giving yourself grace and prioritizing self-care creates a space to thrive as an entrepreneur and achieve your goals without sacrificing your well-being.
3. Pivoting: Learning to Start Over
As a CEO guided by faith, developing a mindset that is comfortable with starting over is crucial. Failure is an inevitable part of the entrepreneurial journey, and it is vital to have the ability to pivot and adapt your plans when God is leading you toward new paths. Ignoring signs of new direction can hinder your progress, making it essential to remain open to God’s guidance and ready to make necessary changes.
It is easy to become attached to a particular idea or plan, but sometimes, letting go and trying something new is necessary. Learning to pivot can help you overcome obstacles and find new opportunities for growth and success.
When you face obstacles, take the time to reflect on what went wrong and what you can do differently. Use this information to adjust your plans and try something new. Remember that success is not about avoiding failure but learning from it and using it to improve.
It’s crucial to remain innovative and adaptable in the face of challenges. Returning to the drawing board and reevaluating your strategies can be an excellent opportunity for growth and development. By reflecting on your business’s strengths and weaknesses, you can identify areas for improvement and implement new ideas and approaches. It’s essential to remain open-minded and willing to try new things, even if it means stepping outside your comfort zone.
Being innovative allows, you stay ahead of the competition and keep your business relevant and up to date. Additionally, remaining innovative and flexible shows a willingness to learn and grow, demonstrating a solid commitment to success as a faith-based CEO.
Overcoming obstacles as a faith-based CEO requires a combination of prayer, patience, and pivoting. You can navigate obstacles and achieve your goals by keeping God at the center of your business decisions, being patient with others, and learning to shift when things do not go as planned. Remember that obstacles are not roadblocks but opportunities for growth and learning. With faith and perseverance, you can overcome any obstacle that comes your way.
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Marquitta DaShae’ Johnson is a transformational leader, speaker, and author who helps faith-driven moms launch high-ticket coaching businesses in 90 days minus burnout. With her Mom To Millionaire model framework and Mommies Making Millions brand, Marquitta empowers mompreneurs to achieve their goals while managing self-care, motherhood, and business. Her mission is to inspire and empower moms globally in the areas of motherhood, mindset, and millions.
The holiday season is a special time of peace, joy, goodwill toward others, and … job cuts.
Just scan the headlines of companies announcing layoffs.
It wasn’t always this way. But even before the pandemic, companies had become less gun shy about blasting employees around Christmastime. Shedding jobs in the fourth quarter of the fiscal year helps companies to balance their books and start fresh in January. For the jobless, it can make for a wrenching cheerless holiday. Meanwhile, those on the employment bubble are left thanking their lucky stars, that is, until the next round of cuts.
Heartless or just business?
Actually it’s both. The motive is certainly not about “Joy to the world, the Lord is come.” This is why, ironically, losing your job during the holidays may be the best gift for you.
How do I know? It happened it me.
One November, a few years back, my supervisor called me into his office as if nothing was wrong, told me that my services were no longer needed and handed me a manila folder. This was just six months after I had joined the well-known company, relocated my family (with two teens in high school), and bought a home. As devout and God-fearing as I would like to think I am, I didn’t feel very spiritual at that moment. But the scripture is true: “What man means for evil, God can turn to good” (Gen. 5:20). I eventually chose to join God’s plan to use that dark moment to refocus me on faith, family, and a brighter future.
I got fired up.
How did it happen? My book, Fired Up, explains the four steps:
1. Talk About It. I immediately told friends and family what happened, instead of wallowing in shame.
2.Pray About It. Through daily prayer I reflected on my past accomplishments, which inspired and helped me plan my next career move.
3.Feel It. I embraced my emotions, but managed them. When anger raged and I felt like hurting the guy and cursing the company’s owner for the cowardly classless way they fired me, I let it flow. I also took a kickboxing class as an outlet to kick and punch out anger.
4.Forgive. These first three steps helped me to learn from the situation and reject the bitter feeling of wanting harm to come upon my ex-supervisor and the company’s owner. They weren’t thinking about me, and so I was cheating my family and myself by ruminating about them. I refocused on “Me Inc.”
Job cuts come with the territory. Especially if you’re an at-will employee (and not under contract), you can be slashed at any moment. For those who have gotten the ax, wanting to return the favor to your former boss is a waste of time and energy. The appropriate F-word is “forgive,” so that you can move up to what God has prepared for you.
As I mentioned, employers want to start fresh after the New Year, so December and January are actually good times to find your next job, if that’s what you want. Maybe God wants you to start that business he placed into your heart! Either way, stay focused, keep your head up and put your feet to the pavement. For those who are dealing with a jobless loved one or spouse, particularly a male, here’s some advice to help them press on:
1. If you’re married, encourage your spouse. The Bible teaches that women have the power “to build up” or “pull down” their homes (Prov. 14:1). Wise women understand “death and life is in the power of the tongue.” (Prov. 18:21). The guy is already feeling inadequate as a breadwinner. Instead of tossing more dirt on his fragile ego, show that you’re in the trenches with him. Likewise, men must encourage their wives through a job loss and love her sacrificially (Eph. 5:25-27).
2. If you have children, include them in the recovery process. Together, tell the kids what’s going on. Too often we shield children from bad news because we don’t want them to be disappointed. Forget that. It’s a disservice to them. Children need to learn how to handle hard times because they will become adults who will have to handle hard times. So, there won’t be any expensive Christmas gifts under the tree this year? Tell them why and that the holiday is about Jesus the giver not Santa the credit card debt creator. They’ll survive, and you will too.
3. Cut expenses and eliminate debt. Most of the economic pundits claim that America must spend its way out of the recession for jobs to return. Guess what? Those old jobs that required obsolete skills aren’t coming back. The banks — especially the ones that were bailed out by our tax dollars — are cutting expenses, investing and reaping huge profits. Do the same.
4. Pray together. Job losses often trigger divorces. God allows us to face challenges so that we can shed the excesses and distractions of daily life in order to refocus on Him — the source of our increase. Losing income is a wakeup call to recognizing who your Provider truly is.
It hasn’t been easy, but these God-directed steps worked for my family and me. None of us have been hungry or without shelter. I moved on to better employment. I have my own radio show. I’m pursuing a doctorate. My book and consulting business are doing well. (These things likely would not have happened had I remained in that old position.) Our two teens are in college. My wife and I remain on the journey.
Losing your job is never easy, but it’s not a death sentence. What you do afterward is an opportunity to grow in your relationship with God and think more creatively about the days ahead.
The Christmas season is about faith, family, and future. Don’t let a job loss — a painful but temporary thing — take your focus off of what really matters.
If you had to choose, which would you rather have: a healthy father or a good father?
Studies suggest men often choose being a good father over being healthy.
Becoming a father is a major milestone in the life of a man, often shifting the way he thinks from being “me-focused” to “we focused.” But fatherhood can also shift how men perceive their health. Our research has found that fathers can view health not in terms of going to the doctor or eating vegetables but how they hold a job, provide for their family, protect and teach their children, and belong to a community or social network.
As founder and director of the Center for Research on Men’s Health at Vanderbilt University and as a postdoctoral fellow from Meharry Medical College, we study why men live shorter lives than women, male attitudes about fatherhood, how to help men engage in healthier behavior – as well as what can be done to reduce men’s risk of Type 2 diabetes and heart disease.
Work and health
Working with men to try to get them to be more physically active, eat healthier and maintain a healthy weight, we found that for many, their own physical and mental health is not high on their list of priorities. Men, we found, treat their bodies as tools to do a job. Health is not always important or something they pay much attention to until poor health gets in the way of their ability to go to work, have sex or do something else important to them. These roles and responsibilities are often the ways they define themselves as men and how others in their lives define their worth.
While many aspects of gender roles have changed, we have found that many men still recognize they are often defined as good or successful if they have paid employment that is enough to take care of their children and other responsibilities. Fathers generally aspire to be able to look after their children, spouse, partner or other loved ones. That may mean less sleep, longer hours at work and less free time for hobbies and exercise.
Wanting to be a great dad can motivate men to push themselves to work longer and harder than they may have thought possible, but these choices can come at a cost, particularly if they also are not making time to take care of themselves.
We have seen evidence of despair, such as depressive symptoms, having thoughts of suicide, heavy drinking and marijuana use, among adults in their 20s and 30s. These behaviors tend to be higher in men during the time when they tend to become fathers for the first time. Consistent with this pattern, unintentional injuries and suicide are leading causes of death for men across racial and ethnic groups in their 20s and 30s. This is not the case for women.
By age 45, heart disease and cancer are the leading causes of death for all groups of men. These chronic diseases can be prevented, to some degree, by not smoking, eating healthier foods and drinking less alcohol. Also, improving sleep, sitting less and moving more are important behaviors for good health.
Rather than trying to restart these behaviors after taking a break from them for a number of years, studies have found that it is important to help men keep healthy behaviors a part of their lives as they age.
Fathers often place more emphasis on their role as head of household than their health. Marmion/Shutterstock.com
As men age, they may not make deliberate choices to engage in less healthy behavior, but they may just do so because their lives and environments make unhealthy choices easier than healthy ones. Policymakers have to think about how to make it easier to make healthy choices in men’s daily lives and to incorporate health into the time fathers spend with children and family or at work. Men don’t have equal access to healthy foods or the same opportunities to go to the doctor, be physically active or earn a living wage, and yet, if asked, they all want to be healthy and have a positive influence on their children and families.
Where does making time for their own mental and physical health fit into dads’ busy, stressful lives? We have found that it will be different for every father, but loved ones have to help them find a way. Based on our research, we believe that families, particularly women in men’s lives, can play an important role in encouraging fathers to eat healthier and take better care of their health.
Wives in particular often provide emotional support, offer advice, facilitate men going to the doctor and promote healthy behavior. Wives, daughters and other women in fathers’ lives are important sources of information about men’s health, and they often play a key role in helping fathers and other men better understand and cope with stress.
As we celebrate fathers, it is important to recognize that fathers, generally speaking, may not place health at the top of their priorities. Many fathers gladly sacrifice to see their children happy, safe and successful. The problem is that if fathers think only about these goals, their own health can often suffer.
