A lot of people have heard of the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child”. I was thinking the other day, the reason why people have a sense of belonging for a community or a city or an estate is because of the people who live there. The experiences and support they bring to that environment promotes a positive culture that draws everyone who lives there to feel as though they belong. They become protective and nurturing of their “village”.
That is the same way we should think about our finances. You do not get to financial stability and freedom by guesswork, feelings or emotions. It is an act of intentional commitment, discipline, education and accountability and it will involve you, and those you are willing to listen to.
I am a firm believer that money is a magnifying tool that reveals the intent and the character of your soul. Who you really are will always be revealed in the abundance of money or lack of it in your life. I have been around people who seemed humble and kind when they did not have money, until they reached a place of financial prosperity. All of a sudden, a sense of being rude and dismissive becomes appealing as though it is supposed to be fashionable. Pride becomes a regular smoothie partaken to make sure that you prove to everyone you made it.
On the other hand, having a lack of money can bring out the insecurities, fear, withdrawal and lack of confidence of embracing true purpose. I have also seen people sabotage great relationships, their integrity and character, because the struggle of not having enough turned them to desperation. They ended up doing things they wished they had not, or going back into situations they should not have, to get back to that place of financial comfort.
The reality is, having financial stability is a great feeling. Waking up each day with the amazing peace that you can pay every bill or anything you owe and have so much left over is a wonderful blessing to experience. However, the biggest mistake we make including myself is, camping in that place of wishing that could happen if we are not yet walking in that reality.
To embark on a journey to success regarding your finances, it has to begin with your outlook. What do you think of yourself regarding money? Proverbs 23:7 KJV states “As he thinketh in his heart, so is he”. Your outward behavior and reaction including your relationship with money is a direct reflection of how you think about yourself.
To create an outlook that will push you and motivate you to a healthy relationship with your finances, including being vulnerable and honest with yourself, as to why you push yourself each day to financial success, practice the “4 C’s to a positive outlook on money” as given to me by Holy Spirit”:
1. Courage
Be willing to face yourself and examine the true motives of your heart. How do you view money? Is it dreadful? Are you stressed out every time its payday or do you have a heart of gratitude for Gods provision? Are you courageous to admit that a lack of money has created a void that you need God to fill? Are you willing to admit that you have used money to attain a status that will make people like you? You have to be courageous to face yourself on your outlook of money.
2. Commitment
You have to commit to change. Denial is not a choice. It is an invisible wall that you create in the circumference of your mind to convince you to cope with the assumption that everything is okay when it is not. Commit to have a positive outlook regarding money. This will give you a fresh perspective of the root cause of your behavior and relationship to money. If money is a tool that motivates you to live a purposeful life, it will be revealed and you will be encouraged to continue working hard. If it is not, you can pause and find out why and adjust your outlook to route you in the right path.
3. Confidence
Confidence is very connected with faith. God always tells you to believe the opposite of what you feel or see. Sometimes at your worst, when you are experiencing lack, God encourages you that “He is your Shepherd and you shall not want” Psalms 23: 1.
As a child of faith, you have to remember that God orchestrates each of our steps and as we live yielded to Him, He will guide us to wisdom, knowledge, education that will equip us to great stewardship. However, we have to first be confident in Him. I am learning that daily, God never gets tired of empowering us with confidence. Seek Him, ask Him, He is right there, and He is willing to release to you the measure of confidence you need to handle the financial obligations at hand.
4. Consistency
Consistency is what icing is to a cake, what syrup is to a pancake, what salt is to soup. Have you ever had soup with no salt? There is no taste to it. But you add a bit of salt and the flavors seem to be awakened as you drink it. It is the secret ingredient that so many of us miss. We start, but don’t finish. We set the budget, but don’t follow it. We open the savings account, but never deposit any money in it. I look at consistency as pacing yourself to savor the sweetness of life.
I love drinking tea. I specifically enjoy a nice cup of Kenyan brewed tea. It takes a special skill to brew a really good cup of Kenyan tea. To add up the flavors and make sure the taste of it is not bitter. The key is time. I consider myself a “master” at making tea especially for a large group of people but, it took me years and years of making tea everyday to learn. I could make tea in my sleep. Was it exciting? No! In fact, sometimes I dreaded it. But, when I see people close their eyes and smell the tea as they drink it with a smile and savor the taste, it brings me great joy!
It is the same way with consistency. You are not going to have butterflies and feel a sense of excitement truth be told you may get bored, not want to do it, dread it, but that is when you should do it. Be consistent in your commitment to be courageously confident about your outlook on money and watch how open you will be to learning how to be a wise steward of what God has blessed you with.
Have you ever felt like you’ve been waiting for life to happen or chasing a dream that isn’t yours? Chanel Dokun, a therapist and life planner, helps women and all of us redefine our worth from the inside out instead of the outside in her book Life Starts Now: How to Create the Life You’ve Been Waiting For. UrbanFaith had the chance to chat with her has she releases this timely book with practical ways to stop waiting and start living.The full interview is above. More on the book below:
LIFE STARTS NOW:
HOW TO CREATE THE LIFE YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR
Did you think you’d finally be happy if you built a great career, found a meaningful romantic relationship, and crafted the picture-perfect life? But once you’ve gotten those things, you find yourself asking, Why isn’t this enough? Shouldn’t there be more? You’re not alone.
Chanel Dokun has walked hundreds of clients, just like you, through a similar journey of disillusionment because she’s traveled the same path herself. She spent years trying to achieve the lifestyle she thought she wanted, but with every accomplishment, Chanel found herself feeling more disappointed, disillusioned, and lost. She realized she needed to let go of society’s definition of success and become the architect of her own life.
In Life Starts Now, Chanel draws on her experience as a therapist and certified life planner to help you redefine what success really means as she offers practical strategies to help you create the life you are longing for. She shares
-an in-depth look at why society’s definitions of success and significance aren’t the answer in your search for more;
-practical action steps for unlocking your genius, finding your flair, and discovering your unique life purpose; and
-how the five postures of silence, solitude, generosity, gratitude, and play will take you from striving to thriving.
Life Starts Now will inspire you to release the search for significance and recover a redemptive view of your ordinary life so you can experience profound joy and fulfillment—and embrace your true purpose.
Raising children is not an easy task! There are many articles, friends, mom tips, and overwhelming support from mom groups that make our jobs a lot easier. From the first day I found out I was going to be a mom back in 2010, I knew that I had support. Whatever question or concern I had, all I had to do was ask my mom or google and there it was: an instant answer! But in early 2020 this reality changed for me and many parents across the world. A devastating pandemic reared its ugly head and completely shut the world down without warning.
In March 2020, at the start of the pandemic, my husband and I received news that we would be expecting our third child. I remember the excitement we felt at first!We would have the opportunity to love, mold, and nurture another gift from God. Shortly thereafter, an overwhelming sense of panic and worry crept over me. I was frightened. I had no idea what to do. I do not believe anyone knew what to do as they faced the reality of a pandemic. I could not turn to my mother, articles, or blogs for advice on how to proceed or respond and receive the same knowledge or wisdom as I had before.
At the same time my children as well as many others across the world were being sent home from school and away from their friends and community. They were told to socially distance when we had no clue how to define what that meant. During this abrupt transition parents were being held to an even higher level of expectation. We had to continue on with our lives and keep it together as if the world was not in turmoil right before our eyes. I often asked myself how could I protect my children from something I knew nothing about? How could I protect them when thousands of people were losing their lives on a daily basis? Reports were circulating about pregnant women who were infected with a mysterious virus who were being denied their birthing rights. Some even had to experience giving birth alone. Reality hit home for us when I was instructed to attend my first prenatal exam alone and was told that would be the norm for the remainder of my pregnancy.
Like many others I could have given up, but I knew the first step in figuring out how to proceed within the unknown was to pray and be encouraged by the Word of God. My husband and I had to learn to lean on the Lord in a different way to lead and guide us in raising our family as well as being aware of our own emotional, physical, and spiritual needs throughout the pandemic.
Proverbs 3:5-6 to tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”
This scripture took on a new meaning for my family. As a wife and mother, I had to be intentional with every decision I made moving forward even when the circumstances presented to me did not make sense. I learned to trust that God has our steps ordered and regardless of what was happening in the natural, God has and will always provide all of our needs according to His riches and glory in Christ Jesus. I had to learn to ask for wisdom in a different way every morning before I started my day. I learned how to increase my ability to listen to my children and be ok with not having all the answers.I learned more than ever to just be present with them.
There are many accounts in the Bible of those who were faced with numerous challenges and the unknown. What kept many of the people in scripture anchored was God’s faithfulness and their ability to trust Him even in the unknown. Many mothers like Sarah, Rachel, Mary and Elizabeth did as they were instructed, although they had no idea what lay ahead on the journey before them. They did not have books, articles, or even written history to reflect back on to determine what they could and could not do. All they had was God’s faithfulness and promises that He had given to them. They all had the choice to accept or reject the promises the Lord had for them, but they did not. They could not foresee what the future held for them and their families, but they trusted that the Lord’s will would be done through their obedience. These examples from scripture encouraged me in to trust God throughout this pandemic. Because of God’s faithfulness, I have truly seen the Lord’s hand on my family members’ lives. I gave birth to a healthy baby girl, our two older children are thriving in school, I am able to be present and responsive for my husband, and our home has been filled with the pure joy only the Lord could give.
To all the mothers, I want to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day!You are strong, resilient, appreciated and loved. I want to encourage you all to not lose hope. Keep praying, seeking, and trusting God even in the unknown. He has proven himself faithful and will continue to be faithful for generations to come!
18 For if the inheritance could be received by keeping the law, then it would not be the result of accepting God’s promise. But God graciously gave it to Abraham as a promise.
19 Why, then, was the law given? It was given alongside the promise to show people their sins. But the law was designed to last only until the coming of the child who was promised. God gave his law through angels to Moses, who was the mediator between God and the people.20 Now a mediator is helpful if more than one party must reach an agreement. But God, who is one, did not use a mediator when he gave his promise to Abraham.
21 Is there a conflict, then, between God’s law and God’s promises?[a] Absolutely not! If the law could give us new life, we could be made right with God by obeying it.22 But the Scriptures declare that we are all prisoners of sin, so we receive God’s promise of freedom only by believing in Jesus Christ.
23 Before the way of faith in Christ was available to us, we were placed under guard by the law. We were kept in protective custody, so to speak, until the way of faith was revealed.
24 Let me put it another way. The law was our guardian until Christ came; it protected us until we could be made right with God through faith.25 And now that the way of faith has come, we no longer need the law as our guardian.
26 For you are all children[b] of God through faith in Christ Jesus.27 And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes.[c]28 There is no longer Jew or Gentile,[d] slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.29 And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children[e] of Abraham. You are his heirs, and God’s promise to Abraham belongs to you.
There is such a joy and peace to know that we serve a God who has created a way for all of us to understand that we are one in His presence. This scripture is a reminder of the viewpoint of God regarding unity and oneness.
For those who desire to come into the Kingdom of God, it can be difficult to get to Him if all they see is the bias and prejudice that sometimes exists in our society. That mindset can be applied to their own personal relationship with God. They may think that He is a biased God who picks and chooses who to bless.
Have you felt that way? Has the enemy convinced you that there are certain blessings you cannot attain in this lifetime? May you be encouraged by this scripture to know:
We are all the children of God by faith in Christ
This means we all have the privilege of being blessed by God. Remove the fear, distrust, and doubt that God will not bless you because of your social status, race, or whatever bias you face. Ask and believe in faith that God is able and desires to give you all blessings that pertain unto life and godliness.
We are one in Christ Jesus
The Lord desires for us to view one another as one. If one person hurts, we hurt as well. Considering this fact will open our lives to embrace compassion, empathy, and kindness. The next time you want to be quick to judge or scorn another brother or sister in Christ, remember that we are one in God’s eyes. Ask Holy Spirit what He desires for you to do and place yourself in that person’s shoes to ensure that the decision you make in thought or actuality will be pleasing to Him.
We are heirs to the promise because we are Abraham’s seed
Recognizing that we are one in Christ Jesus allows us to ask boldly for all the promises that were provided to Abraham. It is easy to read the Word of God and look at what God blessed Abraham with and think that those blessings were only for him. However, Abraham is no longer living but those promises God gave him, still exist. Why won’t you claim them? God desires for you to experience the joy and breakthrough that Abraham received.
The love of God is not a feeling, but it is His Word in manifestation. This week, begin to think about the promises of God that are accessible to you, and have not been activated in your life.
Why are they not manifesting in your life?
Have you positioned yourself to ask and believe in faith that God can do it?
Do you have stewardship principles in your life to ensure those blessings are passed on to future generations after you? Who will gain from your blessings and breakthrough?
It is time to walk in the fullness of what God has for you. Believe that He is more than able to bless you with an abundant life and wants you to experience all that this life has to offer you. All you have to do is ask in faith, believe, and receive it by preparing for the manifestation of what you ask Him. He will bless you according to His Word and His will for your life.
Prayer
Dear God,
I am grateful for the clarity you bring through your Word to remind me that I am just as qualified for your favor, love, and blessings as Abraham was. I boldly begin to believe and ask by faith for everything I need.
Teach me the discipline to steward what you have placed in me so that I can pass it on to future generations and become a carrier of the many blessings that you will bestow upon me. My mind is being transformed to believe for the best and view myself as a partaker of the blessings that Christ has to offer.
Have you ever looked at someone else’s life and thought how much better theirs seemed to be compared to yours? Maybe it was their confidence that made you say, “Wow, I don’t have it like they do,” or “I wish I could be as bold as they are.” Sometimes we compare material things, accomplishments, and even money. But what reward is there in comparing? Comparison can work to our advantage if what we see from another inspires us to be better. But on the flip side, comparison usually robs us of joy and gratitude for our unique and individually destined path.
As believers, we will experience many things that will try to stop us from living the full and abundant life God intended for us. Comparison is one of those acts that can steal our own joy and appreciation for what God has done for us. Here are 3 major ways that comparison robs us:
Comparison can decrease our own self-confidence
Being confident is a power, and when we begin to measure ourselves to others, we chip away at that power. Being self-assured and having a firm grasp on the truth about who God has called you to be is illuminating and attractive. But spending our time thinking about how our neighbor has “more” than us will lower our sense of certainty in ourselves. As we live and fear God, the Lord will give us strong confidence as stated in Proverbs 14:26. So even if your friend just bought a new, shiny car, it doesn’t mean you have to fall into a spiral of thoughts about how you don’t have a new car. That thought can start with the car but can end in another wave of topics that you can compare yourself to, and that’s not fair to you. Remember that God has given you what you need for your journey, so you can be confident in your own story.
Comparison can create a cycle of dissatisfaction
Think about it: when you compare your life to something that seems better you make it difficult to be fully satisfied. In Philippians, Apostle Paul speaks on some lessons that he learned. He instructs us to be content in whatever state we’re in (Philippians 4:11). This helps us learn to be truly aware and grateful for what’s right in front of us so that we’re not constantly searching for better or different. However, remaining content is easier said than done, and that’s how comparison can seep in and taint God’s preferred perspective for us. Our flesh is weak and doesn’t want to do what’s best. Without the feeling of dissatisfaction being checked, this can create a mind-draining cycle of seeing what’s different, good, unpleasant, pure, better, wrong, and greater in someone else, which can lead to feelings of doubt, jealousy, and even depression. But as believers, we have to lean into God through prayer when we see ourselves sinking in those thoughts. He will be faithful to pull us out of the spiral.
Comparison can rob us of the will power and the motivation to try
The danger is that if comparison goes on for too long, it can cause you to shut down and stop your own efforts toward greatness. The thought that, “Oh, they have it already, or they can do it better, so why should I?” can debilitate our energy to do what God has assigned us to do. Whether it’s to start a business, run a charity organization, go to college, post your helpful blog, or showcase your art, it’s imperative that you push through and do it. Motivation is something that needs to be fed, because you’re not always going to feel “motivated.” We all have those days, and it’s natural to feel unmotivated occasionally. But harmful comparison will always paralyze our motivation and drive to access our destinies. It’s super important that we seek God for our purpose in life so that we can have an anchor in our hearts to keep us grounded when comparison rears its ugly head.
I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all had moments of comparison. If comparison flows from a pure place, it can inspire you, but many times the opposite is true. Be encouraged knowing that God will give you exactly what you need to bless you and bring Him glory . He trusted you with your own gifts, talents, passions, and personality. As you think about comparison, ask God to shift your mind to seeing the good He’s placed in you. As the Word says in Philippians 1:6 (NIV), “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus”. Do not allow the greatness He has begun in you be stolen by comparison. You are too valuable to let that happen.
Raising children is not an easy task! There are many articles, friends, mom tips, and overwhelming support from mom groups that make our jobs a lot easier. From the first day I found out I was going to be a mom back in 2010, I knew that I had support. Whatever question or concern I had, all I had to do was ask my mom or google and there it was: an instant answer! But in early 2020 this reality changed for me and many parents across the world. A devastating pandemic reared its ugly head and completely shut the world down without warning.
Have you ever looked at someone else’s life and thought how much better theirs seemed to be compared to yours? Maybe it was their confidence that made you say, “Wow, I don’t have it like they do,” or “I wish I could be as bold as they are.” Sometimes we compare material things, accomplishments, and even money. But what reward is there in comparing? Comparison can work to our advantage if what we see from another inspires us to be better. But on the flip side, comparison usually robs us of joy and gratitude for our unique and individually destined path.