John Marrion depicted here was part of the 104th (New Brunswick) Regiment of Foot. The 104th soldiers once snowshoed over 621 miles in about fifty days during the War of 1812. Beaverbrook Collection of War Art/Canadian War Museum/CWM 19810948-008 (NO REUSE)
Snowshoeing in the woods on a sunny winter’s day is my idea of fun. When playing in the snow, winter seems to pass faster.
Over two-thirds of Canadians participate in outdoor recreation, according to Statistics Canada. Some 13 percent of these nature fans enjoy snowshoeing. Compared to skiing, snowshoeing is low key, inexpensive, and easy to learn. And it can be done anywhere as long as there is snow.
Lord Stanley of Preston being ‘bounced’ as a member of the Montréal Snowshoe Club in 1866. Wm. Notman & Son/McCord Museum /VIEW-2425
Snowshoe walks and races were once the most popular winter sports in Canada, long before hockey seized that prize. A century ago, snowshoe clubs were scattered all over the country. The most important was the Montréal Snowshoe Club, formed in 1840. It organized professional and amateur races.
Some Black men once snowshoed over 621.3 miles in about 50 days. The epic trek took them from Fredericton, N.B., to Kingston, Ont. Unlike us, these men were not doing it for outdoor recreation.
The 600 or so soldiers of the 104th trekked across the country to bolster Canadian defenses against an impending United States invasion. This became known as the War of 1812, even though the conflict was spread out over the next two years.
The Black men in the 104th included Harry Grant, Richard Houldin and Henry McEvoy. They are a minor footnote in the War of 1812 and are usually ignored in accounts of the conflict.
The erasure of these Black soldiers of the 104th follows the usual pattern of deleting Black people from the mainstream history of Canada, as their presence or absence raises questions about race and empire, and genocide and slavery.
When Black people are acknowledged, it is usually in reference to the Underground Railroad, and the fugitives’ flight from slavery to freedom in the Great White North. The focus on this part of history ignores the 200 years of slavery in Canada, and how living in its wake continues to shape Black lives today.
The men wore moccasins. These Indigenous shoes are perfect for walking on ice or snow as they are light, warm, and waterproof.
Then there were the Indigenous snowshoes. They were essential winter gear as they were the easiest way to move in thick snow — if you were a hunter, soldier, or just out for a walk.
With just boots on, with each step, one would sink up to knees or hips in the white stuff. In a different situation, this could be lethal. Cold legs are prone to frostbite and frostbite can end in amputation or death. Snowshoes spread the body’s weight so that one can walk and not sink into the powder, and can travel further with less effort.
Lithograph on wove paper of ‘Snowshoeing Club of Montréal.’ Several men are depicted walking in the snowy woods with snowshoes. Henry Sandham (1842-1910)/Library and Archives Canada, Acc. No. R9266-1432, CC BY-NC
On a recent snowshoe hike, I passed through a strand of cedar trees, brushing a few twigs as I trudged by. The trees released a perfume that was fresh and invigorating. In my mind, it is the smell of Christmas.
The men of the 104th also liked the cedars. And not just for the scent. They used the branches to make a bed each evening, as they huddled in a makeshift teepee made from saplings and insulated with branches and moss. A blanket and a fire in the middle kept them warm in the sub-zero nights.
In the images of the campaign, pioneers and later athletes skied, hiked, and tobogganed in a winter wonderland. Almost all the people visible in the advertisement are white. Thus it made an explicit connection between race, winter, and outdoors recreation. It reflected two dominant nationalist mythologies of Canada — as the “the Great White North” and the “great outdoors.”
There are many issues with the advert, but I am interested in how it whitewashed Canadian history and outdoor recreation. What has changed in the past decade?
Snowshoes are cheap to rent at ski resorts and parks and from outdoor recreation stores. Snowshoeing is marketed as a truly Canadian winter sport that is accessible to different age groups, fitness levels, and abilities.
It’s a great way for families to spend a winter day outdoors. The marketing photographs are filled with happy white people, in bright neon-colored jackets, romping in the snow. What is missing from the images are Indigenous, Black, and other people of color. Snow is free, but race plays a role in who is wanted and who gets access to snowshoeing.
The joy of the outdoors
On my snowshoeing ramble, other people were racing through the woods. They were snowshoe runners, dressed in light running gear. Lots of lycra and color. They shouted greetings as they sailed by.
Something was drilling in the woods. I followed my ears, swiveled my head, and spotted a hairy woodpecker getting its lunch of grubs out of the bark of a tree. The little patch of red on the back of its head was a bold splash of natural color in a landscape of white snow and beige trees.
I snowshoed about 3.7 miles on my minuscule trek that day. And then I was done. Tired, ready for hot chocolate and cake in a warm café.
The Black soldiers and their fellow 104th snowshoers would have taken about two hours to do that distance. They had 621.3 miles to snowshoe. One day I plan to recreate their historic feat as part of my project of mapping how race intersects with outdoor recreation, geography, and adventure travel.
Antoine Dow has been cutting hair for 24 years. Dow, who owns a barbershop in West Baltimore, gives many of his clients their last haircut at local funeral homes, after losing them to gun violence. (NATE PALMER FOR KHN)
Quant’e Boulware combs the hair of Davonte Robinson before cutting his hair.(NATE PALMER FOR KHN)
BALTIMORE — The barber had with him his tools of trade: a black leather smock, a razor, clippers, scissors and tufts of black locks he had collected from the floor of his shop.
He would use them to try to cover the bullet hole that tore through his client’s head.
Antoine Dow owns a barbershop in the Druid Heights neighborhood of West Baltimore and has often been called upon to provide clients who have been gunned down with their final haircut. It’s a ritual that he says helps bring some dignity to the young black men whose lives are disproportionately affected by gun violence, many of whom Dow knew and serviced while they were still alive.
“When I walked into the room and saw his body, I didn’t recognize him because the trauma to the skull was so bad,” Dow said of Deontae Taylor, 20, a young man who was killed last fall. “The entry wound was a hole and the exit wound was sewed up in the back like a football,” he said.
After he finished, he called Taylor’s mother. “I did the best I could do.”
The decline in gun deaths in some major cities across the country has made headlines, but in places like Baltimore, the numbers remain high. There were 348 homicides in Baltimore last year, up more than 12% from the year before, and only five fewer than the record set in 1993. Firearms were involved in 312 of the 348 killings, according to an analysis of the latest numbers in the Baltimore Police Department Crime Stats Open Data database by Kaiser Health News.
On Saturdays, the busiest day at Antoine Dow’s barbershop in the Druid Heights neighborhood of West Baltimore, Dow can be found cutting hair from 6:30 a.m. to as late as 9 p.m., cutting the hair of roughly 72 clients in a single day.(NATE PALMER FOR KHN)
Dow has been cutting hair for 24 years. He started when he was 19, giving haircuts to friends in his father’s basement. In 2001, at age 27, he found a small shop with a reasonable rent that had only enough room for one barber. He had the shop remodeled and has been open ever since. On Saturdays, he can be found cutting hair for as many as 70-odd clients, his barber chair positioned at the shop entrance, where he can greet each person as they enter.
“I always wanted my own barbershop. I pretty much knew what I wanted to do, because I enjoyed it, and people would pay me for it,” he said.
The issue of gun violence has followed Dow for years. In 2000, at a barbershop on the corner of Lafayette and Division streets in West Baltimore where he worked, Dow was shot in the leg after he tried to intervene in an argument between a client and another man. His client, Howard Robinson, 35, was shot in the back and died later that day.
Typically, funeral homes dress the bodies of the deceased and cut their hair, if necessary. But sometimes a favored barber is brought in.
Dow was 26 when he performed his first haircut for a deceased client. In that case, it was an older man who had died of natural causes, circumstances that Dow said are much easier to manage than a shooting victim. He has continued to take on the difficult task of providing haircuts for clients who have been killed, for a straightforward reason, as he sees it — “because I cut their hair while they were alive.”
And as his business has expanded, Dow has hired other barbers who have also learned the trade of post-mortem hair cutting.
Quant’e Boulware, 24, has worked for Dow the past four years and has cut the hair of two customers no longer alive. One was a 2-year-old child who died in a car crash — his godson. “I rather me cut his hair than somebody else,” he said softly.
Antoine Dow cuts a customer’s hair as others wait in line at his barbershop in the Druid Heights neighborhood of West Baltimore.(NATE PALMER FOR KHN)
When clients leave Dow’s shop, he said he tells them to “please be safe,” but he knows that can be hard in a city like Baltimore. He estimates that as many as eight of his clients were murdered in the last year alone.
Dontae Breeden, one of Dow’s younger clients, said that he and his peers often feel invisible in a city where violence is so common and that some young men turn to gun violence out of desperation. “People just want to be known for something,” said Breeden, 22. “They just want recognition.”
Rashad Jones has been a client of Dow’s for three years. In March 2019, he was shot at a bus stop on East Northern Parkway after work. Not only has Jones lost two of his best friends to gun violence this year, but in 2013 his brother was shot and paralyzed from the waist down at age 25.
The barbershop is one of the few places in West Baltimore where Jones, 29, said he feels safe and Dow has tried to provide that comfort to his clients, both in life and in death.
He talks to his clients while cutting their hair, even those who have passed away, like the young man who had been shot in the head.
“I was talking to him while I was cutting his hair, like I do a lot of my deceased clients,” said Dow. “I just said, you know, ‘I hope you rest well.’”
KHN reporter Victoria Knight contributed to this article.
A few days ago, I was sitting on top of the world, thrilled with the launch of my new book. And then, just a few hours later, I came crashing back down to Earth as I learned that the job I had for 14 years was gone, as I was laid off. Due to the coronavirus, it was explained to me the company had to close.
Naturally, I was pretty distraught. I have a wife and two kids that I’d been providing for, and I hadn’t been in a situation where I needed to be concerned about paying the bills and buying food, not for a long time.
And, since Congress hasn’t gotten its act together with a stimulus package yet, I was staring a harsh reality in the face of NOT being able to provide any more. Very scary.
I shared my feelings on a live broadcast on Twitter, reaching out to folks who have commiserated with me over the years, showing that we are all going through something real and that the fallout from non-action to this crisis has severe, personal consequences.
The reaction was overwhelmingly positive, with many folks sending their well wishes, prayers, love, and suggestions. Quite a few had recommended that I start a GoFundMe so that they could donate. And I said no, that’s usually what folks do when they are in a desperate situation, and I’d much rather work things out on my own.
It was inevitable that at least ONE jerk would strike out at me…
…because that’s what they do. Trolls are pretty horrible, and I usually just block them. But what one particular troll said was SO disgusting, so repugnant, I had to screenshot it. He wrote: “You’re unemployed and going to be homeless. Hopefully you f*cking kill yourself.”
I reported it, and proceeded to let those words recede to the back of my mind, locked in a box that reads “NEVER OPEN THIS BOX AGAIN.” But that comment kept picking at me and picking — like picking at a scab that just won’t heal.
Because I had already experienced homelessness, and it wasn’t pretty.
My homeless situation was not something that I could blame on anything or anyone but myself. After all, I had been the beneficiary of an excellent private school education: I had a scholarship to The Dalton School, an exclusive prep school from which I received an extraordinary head start. And I had a family and friends that loved me.
But addiction doesn’t discriminate…
…and it affects people from every walk of life, every social class, every educational background. During much of the nineties, I fought a recurring battle with drug addiction to crack cocaine, in and out of drug rehabs with relapse after relapse.
In 1993, after having prematurely left one rehab, I went back to work (as a graphic designer). The money was decent, but my head most certainly was not right. I rented a room above the apartment where my then-wife lived with her mother-in-law and our two sons.
Within three weeks, I had relapsed, and when I showed up at my mother-in-law’s house asking for money at 3 a.m., my now ex-wife told me, “You need to leave that woman’s house upstairs. Because if you steal anything from her, you will humiliate me and my whole family.” She was right: I would have DEFINITELY stolen something, anything, everything I could. So I left.
Thus began my adventures in homelessness. They were not glamorous.
When I started out, I didn’t even consider myself homeless; I was so busy getting high, I didn’t need to sleep or eat for days at a time. I somehow managed to borrow money from folks whose bridges I hadn’t yet burned, with whom I still had some credibility.
This was before the look (and smell) of homelessness took hold of me. As it turns out, when you go for months without a shower, without washing your hair, or brushing your teeth, or changing your clothes, you REALLY smell—the kind of odor that clears a subway car in a hurry.
So, officially fitting the description of a homeless guy, I stayed in buildings, on rooftops, wherever I could lay my head for a few hours before being awoken by a cop banging his nightstick, screaming at me to get off the train, or someone chasing me out of a building for trespassing.
To make the transformation complete, I started collecting cans and bottles, but that was really hard, time-consuming work, and using a wire hanger to break into people’s cars to steal the change from their ashtrays. I was a petty thief; I never mugged or robbed anyone, because that wasn’t my nature — I stole when they weren’t looking.
Eventually, so much of my soul had been replaced by crack-driven urges.
I began to shake a cup for donations. I will never forget the look of disgust mixed with bewilderment at my position: WTF is this young guy doing, shaking a cup for change? Well, it was cold, and malnutrition had made me weak, so begging for change was the EASIEST way to score more drugs.
One day, while I was shaking a cup near Union Square in Manhattan, I asked a young woman who recognized me from The Dalton School. A part of me, buried deep beneath the layers of addiction, felt utter shame and humiliation as she reached into her purse to give me some money.
My Christmas Light.
Later that night, on Christmas Eve, I asked a doorman for money, and he asked me what had happened to me. He looked into my eyes and said he could tell that was NOT the way I was meant to live. He asked me if I’d say a prayer with him, and I told him, “But I’m Muslim.” And he said, well, it doesn’t look like your God is listening to you, so let’s pray.
Why was this guy wasting his time WITH ME? In my mind, I was a complete and total failure, having been in and out of rehabs, where the lesson never seemed to stick, where I always seemed to outsmart myself. I wasn’t even worth the time, I thought. His sincere concern for me felt undeserved. I wasn’t worthy.
Fine, I said, just wanting to get to the part where he gave me money. But then, on Christmas Eve, it started snowing. And I don’t remember the words he was using, but he asked God to help me, and he said within two weeks I would be helped. I barely realized that I was crying at the time when he handed me some money.
Two weeks later, I was in rehab.
Fast forward to today:
I haven’t shaken a cup for donations in over two decades, as I have managed to string together 16 and a half years of sobriety, and the sting of humiliation is somehow STILL fresh in my memory from that episode.
But suddenly, the circumstances have changed. I’m not high anymore. I think of others now, instead of just myself. My three sons from that first marriage are fully grown and working, but I now have two little ones who traveled across the globe with their mom (my wife) from New Zealand to be with me.
We’ve had a serious talk, my wife and I, about asking for help. It goes against every fiber in my body right now – even when hauling groceries into the house, I like to be Mr. “I-can-handle-all-15-of-these-bags-myself” husband. And I am stubborn. And proud.
But that pride, I have found, can be a dangerous drug, too. The kids are now fully aware of the situation, but they do not yet know how dire it is. I’m in debt over my head, with mounting bills and no job, and my ex-boss has forbidden me to work freelance for our previous clients – even though I was the ONLY designer he had on staff.
While I didn’t sign a non-compete agreement with my former boss (none of us did), he is a Breitbart-reading Trump supporter who kept video cameras pointed at our computers to ensure we didn’t surf the web (while he stayed on Breitbart and Facebook), and couldn’t WAIT for a good reason to get rid of me. And so, here I find myself asking for help, buried all the way at the bottom of this impossibly-long written piece, secretly hoping that most of you will have given up reading at this point. If you folks who are still reading at this point can spare $5, or even $1, every single dollar is appreciated and welcome. My Cashapp account is $MAJIDPADELLAN. My Venmo account is @Majid-Padellan.
My pride is kicking my butt right now, and I am certain that this piece will open me to more attacks from nasty trolls, but the memory of homelessness is even stronger, and I don’t want to expose my wife and kids to it.
Follow up with Majid M. Padellan, aka BrooklynDad_Defiant!, on his website at BrooklynDadDefiant.com.
I enjoy the summer. It is a good time for family outings, more relaxed schedules (relatively speaking), and no homework. As summer winds down and Fall approaches, it’s time to turn our attention to school matters again. It’s fun—full of hustle and bustle. There is the excitement of new school clothes, getting those school supplies, and making sure all the school-assigned summer reading has been completed. And, then its finally here, the first day of school.
I have a routine with my daughter, Kyrsten, now a high school senior. The first day of school is always a picture in front of the house. It’s a fun few days with the feeling of another “new beginning.” But, preparing your children to return to school is more than a new hairstyle, shiny new boots, and a backpack. Too often in our zest to check items off the “Back to school” list we miss the one most important element—attitude. We need our children to return to school with a success mindset. The mindset is the difference between excellence and average. Though it can be difficult with our harried lifestyles and often disinterested kids, every parent has the responsibility to fully invest in the child’s success mindset for school. What grade would you give yourself?
I have two children. I’m proud of them. My kids are very different in personality, extracurricular interests, academic strengths, and study habits. I play around with them a lot—acting silly. But, they both know when it comes to education I’m a dictator. They think I’m crazy. They’re right. But, the right kind of craziness pays dividends.
My son, Quilan, is a graduate student at Ohio State University. During his secondary school years, my son was the athlete with a penchant for science and math. He was selected by Concerned Black Men as their Student of the Year during his senior year. He graduated high school with a 3.8 GPA and a full merit-based scholarship to Penn State University. Now he is on a graduate assistantship at Ohio State University that pays his tuition and gives him a monthly stipend.
My daughter, Kyrsten, is artistic (writing, photography) with a more liberal arts bent. She has a 4.1 GPA. She’s ranked in the top 11% of her class in a highly competitive class in a Philadelphia suburban high school. With one year of high school left, she has already been captain of the dance team and active in several other extracurricular clubs. She’s been selected twice to represent the Philadelphia chapter for National Black MBA Leader’s of Tomorrow business case competitions held in Boston and Houston. She has already identified her preferred college (Bentley University) and has been cultivating a relationship with the admissions representative. She will get a full academic scholarship somewhere (hopefully Bentley).
I give you this background on my kids to make a single point—academic excellence is a priority in our home. My wife and I have worked since they started elementary school to instill a success mindset in our children—particularly as it applies to school performance.
So, as we start another school year, I encourage all parents to reinforce these 10 habits into your own home. I believe that most of these habits are important for all homes. But, they are particularly important for those parents who have college aspirations for their children.
#1: Set academic expectations
Education studies clearly show that children tend to rise to the level of expectations set for them. The same principle is at play in the home. Parents are responsible for setting the academic expectations. Many parents errantly assume that children know what is expected of them at school. This isn’t true. I’ve talked to many students who believe that being at or above average is success. They believe that as long as they aren’t below average that they are doing their job. My son said this to me when he was in elementary school. Parents have to debunk this mindset as early as possible in the child’s academic journey.
I encourage all parents to communicate an expectation of academic excellence. In our home, the expectation every single year is that my child will get an “A” final grade in every subject. But, in order to do this, I insist on an “A” grade in every subject in every marking period. See why my kids think I’m crazy?
Here is the reality. My kids, especially my son, often did not get straight A’s. But, then they have to explain to me in terms that I accept why an ‘A’ was not achieved. With my daughter, math and science classes are not her strength. But, I still expect her to get an ‘A’. Therefore, I insist on seeing an ‘A’ effort. If she puts forth an ‘A’ effort but ends up with a lower grade, then I accept that. What I will not accept is less than an ‘A’ effort.
For most students, an ‘A’ effort requires good study habits.
Do your children know what grade you expect them to achieve this marking period? Do they clearly know the level of effort you expect of them?
#2: Communicate directly with the teachers
Do you trust your children? I trust mine—most of the time. But, you can’t believe everything that they tell you. I know you want to. But, you can’t. Sometimes they are intentionally trying to deceive you. Other times they just don’t know. You have to have an effective channel of communication directly with the teachers. I encourage parents to have direct contact information for every teacher.
I go to Back to School Night every year. I don’t just go. I make sure that I introduce myself to every teacher. And, I make sure that they know that I expect them to reach out to me if there is an issue with my child. I obtain the phone number and email address for each teacher.
It is not only important to get the information. But, you have to let your child know that you have the information. And, your child needs to know that you have no problem using it.
My children know that I will contact their teacher in a minute. Sometimes, you have to just contact the teacher so that your child understands that “the threat” is real. Most kids are less likely to try to pull the wool over your eyes if they know you will contact the teacher directly yourself.
#3: Escalate issues above the teacher, when necessary
This may be a controversial point. But, I give teachers the benefit of the doubt. When experience difference of opinion between my child and the teacher, I assume the teacher knows what he/she is doing. But, then I follow up with the teacher and try to understand why my child is having the issue. If I believe that this teacher is indeed wrong and unwilling to remedy the situation, I will escalate the issue immediately. I’ll go to the principal or the superintendent of the school district if I really had to.
The key point is that I hold my child, the teacher, and the principal accountable. I want answers that make sense to me. I can be objective. But, don’t try to fool me.
#4: Regularly monitor academic performance
Parents have to monitor kids’ grades. You can’t just take their word for it. Here are a few tips:
Ask direct questions and keep probing (yes it can be difficult during some of those adolescent years to get more than one-word answers)
Watch for and question any changes in their demeanor, behavior, and grades (if something really feels wrong for more than a few weeks, something is probably wrong)
Ask for confirmation that homework is being done
Keep a sense of when tests are taking place and inquire about preparation beforehand and performance afterward
Vigilantly monitor grades at the beginning, midterms, and two weeks before final grades (if your school district has a “Home Access System” that you can access online to monitor grades, sign up immediately)
The monitoring will change depending on the grade of the child. But, I access our Home Access account for my daughter every few weeks. I ask questions about any grade that isn’t an ‘A’, and any homework that is missing. My daughter knows that I’m watching. When the child knows you are paying attention, they are more likely to pay attention too. This goes for social engagement also.
Even if you have a very busy schedule, it is important to pay particular attention at three time points. First, check in early in the marking period to make sure that things are getting off to a good start. Then you look again midway through the marking period because it will be easy to discern patterns, and then check in a few weeks before the end of the period so that there is some time to remedy any situation before the marking period is over.
I am focusing a lot on grades in this post because this is the most quantifiable and empirical measure of performance. But, it is important to understand that academic performance isn’t just about grades. It is about being a well-rounded student. My experience, however, is that when kids are performing poorly academically they tend to struggle in many other areas as well.
#5: Scrutinize core subjects
While your child, particularly in junior/high school, may have six or seven classes, they are not all created equal. Your state knows this. They have state assessments to monitor performance in the core subjects. The school district knows this. They have multiple tracks to account for these core subjects.
Too often, parents are not aware that Math, Science, English, and Social Studies are the core competencies. Your child’s performance in these classes matters more to the state, the school district, and the school. They have tutoring and other incentives to encourage performance in these subjects.
As a parent, you have to pay attention to all of your child’s classes. But, here is the reality, you have to scrutinize these three core subjects. You have to make sure that your child is in the right track for him or her. When they are in junior and senior high school they go into what are called tracks. Depending on the transparency of your school, these tracks may be hidden or obvious. But, believe me. They are there. You need to know which track your child is in.
Once in senior high school, there are generally four tracks for each core subject. There is a vocational track (for those who are not necessarily college-bound), a college prep track, an Honor’s track, and an Advanced Placement (AP) track (in most schools these days). This is important because the Honor’s and AP tracks are what they call “weighted”. They are more demanding of the student. But, they also offer higher credit. This is how many students obtain GPAs that are higher than 4.0.
It is important to make sure that your child is in the highest track that they can handle. Don’t let this become an ego thing. But, fight for your child to be in the highest track that he/she can manage. An “A” in a College Prep class is not as impactful on GPA or as impressive to college admissions officers as an “A” in an AP class. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
This is especially important for minority kids because honestly our children are often placed underneath their capability. However, I have to stress the importance of knowing your child. In senior high school, my son had Honor’s or AP classes in nearly all his Math and Science classes because he was naturally gifted and had interest that way. My daughter, however, dislikes Math and Science and struggles with them to some degree. So, we have to be more selective in which Math and Science classes in which she does Honor’s or AP. However, she excels in advanced History and English classes.
#6: Understand it’s a Competition
Yes, I know this is a controversial way to look at it. But, I believe it is important for our children to understand that once they are in senior high school, it is a clear competition. They are competing for high school leadership opportunities, college admission, and scholarships.
Since my children were in primary school, I’ve reinforced the point to them that they have one job—to obtain a full college scholarship.
Obtaining this scholarship requires four pillars: academic excellence, extracurricular leadership, outstanding recommendations, and great scores on standardized achievement tests (e.g, SAT, ACT). Their job from junior to senior high is to maximize each of these three areas. They don’t have to work any other job. By doing chores, they earn a very modest allowance so that they have a little spending money. They can do whatever extracurricular activities they want. But, it cannot compromise any of the pillars.
We live in an increasingly global culture where the competition isn’t even just in the U.S. International students are attending our U.S. institutions at an increasing pace. These students are submitting excellent applications with outstanding credentials and academic achievements.
Our kids need to understand that life is a competition. Yes, we pray for favor. But, we also prepare with rigor. And, it starts in school.
As parents, we have to take the time to support our children in each of the four pillars. Don’t compromise on any of them. Give them options. But, insist that they participate in extracurricular. Don’t be cheap either. A full college scholarship can save you or the child in excess of one hundred thousand dollars. If you have to spend one thousand on an SAT course, then you’ll likely get a great return on that investment (ROI).
#7: Create a positive, stable atmosphere
One of the most important things that you can do as a parent to encourage your child’s academic success is to create a home atmosphere that is positive and encouraging. Many children have so many socioeconomic challenges at home that it is practically impossible to focus on being positive at school. Sadly, so many kids are in survival mode.
I think it is sad when school districts are celebrating that half of their students are graduating. Call me crazy (my kids do) but I don’t think this is as much a problem with the school system as it is with the home system.
Children are part of a system. Home, community, school engagement are all part of the system. They each influence the other. Helping your child at school requires a healthy community and a healthy home.
Help them develop responsible habits in the home and community. In an age-appropriate fashion, monitor the media that they consume. Show them things that enrich their core personality and interests.
You may be going through life challenges. But, to the extent possible, protect your children from the full brunt of it. Be positive with them. Tell them that they can do it. Make them feel like champions at home. If done authentically and consistently, I have no doubt that you’ll see an impact on their academics.
#8: Monitor with whom they spend their time
As your child gets older, it becomes increasingly difficult if not impossible to control with whom they will become friends. But, do your best to monitor it. Try to embrace their friends. Invite them over. Yes, part of the goal is so that you can get to know the friend. As you better understand them, you can better anticipate how your child and the friend will influence each other—positively or negatively.
Socialization is a huge issue in school. Your child will look to fit in. You don’t want to establish an adversarial relationship with your child. But, try and offer helpful suggestions.
You can’t control who they choose as friends. But, you can usually control the time that they spend with them.
People tend to gravitate to the level of those with whom they spend the most time. If your child spends a lot of time among kids who shun school responsibilities, your child is likely to trend in that direction. Conversely, if the child hangs with good students, he is also likely to be a good student.
#9: Reward performance
Well, this may be another controversial point. But, my wife and I reward academic performance. In our case, we give financial incentive. When the report card comes, we give $5 for every “A” and an extra bonus if there are straight A’s.
Some parents think that the child should be self-motivated to perform academically. Maybe they should be. But, most aren’t as motivated as we parents would like them to be. There is an adage, “What gets rewarded, gets repeated”. I expect “A” grades. When they come, I put my money where my mouth is.
While some kids are more motivated by money than others, every kid likes some kind of rewards. In fact, my daughter is much more motivated by money than is my son. But, I’m convinced that this incentive plays an important role in their performance. For me, I believe it is a good investment.
Figure out what motivates your child and tie that to their school performance (academically and socially). Remember, you have to be willing to withhold the reward if they don’t perform.
#10: Be Consistent and Prayerful
The final two things I’ll say may in fact be the most important. Parenting is really about consistency in encouraging the desired behavior. I see many parents start off with zeal and good intentions. But, as life gets busy it just becomes too difficult to keep up with everything. Children see inconsistency a mile away. Many of them will get away with whatever they think they can get away with. We have to be consistent.
The most important thing that we as parents can consistently do is pray. All of the other things that I’ve mentioned are only optimized in the context of prayer.
We pray for our children every weekday morning. We pray for favor for them. We pray that they are wise in their selection of friends and their decisions. We pray that God protects their mind, heart, and body.
Even though my son is hundreds of miles away, we pray for him. When we have a Skype call with him, we pray over him. When I take my daughter to the bus stop, I hold her hand and pray.
Ultimately, we want to place all of our parenting in the Lord’s hands because that is ultimately that is what we want our children to do—regardless of grades, scholarships, or anything else.
I hope that these 10 habits are helpful to you as we embark on yet another school year. Please let me know what other habits you’ve found successful or if any of these don’t make sense for you. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.
In a former church parsonage in Grundy County, Tenn., Karen Wickham ladled out her lentil stew as people arrived for an evening health education class.
Wickham and her husband, Steve, are white-haired, semi-retired nurses who have dedicated the last years of their working lives to helping people with Type 2 diabetes control and even reverse the condition with diet and exercise.
Wendy Norris is in the group, and she has brought along her father and daughter. Since her diagnosis several years ago, Norris said, her doctor prescribed insulin shots and told her to watch what she ate.
She recalled thinking at the time, “Well, what does that mean?”
The Wickhams have set out to answer that question in Tennessee’s Grundy County, which ranks lowest on the scale of residents’ health. Grundy’s population of 13,000 has the shortest life expectancy in the state and an elevated rate of diabetes (16% of adults), which can eventually result in blindness, kidney failure or amputations.
Norris said trying to overhaul her diet by herself was confusing and difficult. And when things didn’t change, the doctor just kept increasing her dosage of insulin.
But then Norris lost her health insurance. The injectable insulin cost her hundreds of dollars a month — money she simply didn’t have.
“I felt like I was stuck having to take three or four shots a day [for] the rest of my life,” she said. She enrolled in one of the six-week seminars the Wickhams offer and is seeing results in how many shots she needs: “I’ve got it down to one already.”
With slide presentations, the Wickhams explain the difference between sucrose and glucose, and the science behind the fact that certain foods, like potatoes, spike blood sugar, while sweet potatoes don’t. They preach eating as much fiber as a stomach can stand, and dropping almost every kind of sweetened beverage.
Steve and Karen Wickham explain course materials to participants in their seminar on Type 2 diabetes in Grundy County, Tenn. The six-week seminar offers detailed instruction on the biology of diabetes, diet, and exercise — and provides plenty of individualized support.
And they demonstrate ways to burn all those calories. Steve even invented the “Beersheba Boogie” — after the Grundy town of Beersheba Springs — asking participants to raise their knees and pump their fists while marching in place.
All the workshop participants have to find a way to get active at home or in a rugged state park nearby because there’s no gym anywhere in the county. There’s not a proper grocery store anywhere nearby either, so healthy cooking can become a real chore.
These communitywide obstacles reveal why it can be a struggle for people to maintain their health in rural America. But the Wickhams are working to overcome those barriers.
During one education session, as participants shared their latest health stats, Steve called out: “Her blood sugar is going down! Give her a hand.”
If it sounds like a revival meeting, it kind of is. Steve and Karen Wickham say they are compelled in this work by their Christian faith as Seventh-day Adventists — a denomination known for a focus on health. They first moved to Grundy County to take care of ailing parents, and once settled in their scenic mountain retreat, they grew disturbed by the suffering they saw in their neighbors.
“I think God holds us responsible for living in the middle of this people and doing nothing,” Steve Wickham said.
Many people think of Type 2 diabetes as practically incurable, though it has long been known that the condition can be reversed with weight loss and exercise. But research shows people need lots of help to change their lifestyle, and they rarely get it.
“I had taken care of diabetic patients for so long, and I knew the progression,” Karen said. “If you truly want the people to get better, you have to treat it with lifestyle interventions.”
Those changes can be hard to start and even harder to maintain.
“Nobody, actually, will make all of the lifestyle changes that we recommend,” Steve said. “But if you’re making the kind of choices that lead you to a healthier lifestyle, then you get better.”
A More Hopeful Message
Along with their lifestyle counseling, the Wickhams always give a disclaimer, advising people to consult with their doctors. They also acknowledge that their seminars are not yet “evidence-based” or backed by peer-reviewed scientific literature.
But there are studies showing that people with blood sugar levels in the “prediabetes” range can get back to normal blood sugar by losing 5% of their body weight.
And weight loss and exercise have already been shown to lower hemoglobin A1c levels, a test physicians use to monitor a patient’s blood sugar over two to three months.
In addition, new research from Dr. Roy Taylor of Newcastle University in England shows promise for true remission.
“Doctors tell their patients, ‘You’ve got a lifelong condition. We know it’s going to steadily get worse.’ Then they turn around and their patients aren’t losing weight or doing exercise, but they’ve given them this utterly depressing message,” he said.
Taylor’s research finds that by losing 30 pounds or so, Type 2 diabetes can be reversed in the early stages.
Ultimately, Taylor hopes, better nutrition will become the preferred response to high blood sugar in the next decade.
“I think the main headwinds [against progress] are just conceptual ones — of scientists and doctors believing this is an irreversible condition because of what we’ve seen,” he said.
Even the American Diabetes Association has been changing its views. The advocacy group has a new position on reversal:
“If a patient wishes to aim for the remission of Type 2 diabetes, particularly within six years of diagnosis, evidence-based weight management programs are often successful.”
Dr. John Buse, chief of endocrinology at the University of North Carolina medical school, helped write the new position on reversal.
“We’ve known, literally since the 17th century, that diet is the key to managing diabetes,” he said.
But it’s hard to write a prescription for a lifestyle change.
“Doctors don’t have the time to do it well, so we have often used the sort of short shrift,” he said. “‘Eat less carbohydrates and walk every day’ … that has basically no impact.”
The Wickhams are doing their part to add to the scientific data, tracking the blood sugar of the participants in their program. And the anecdotal, short-term evidence they’ve gathered is resonating far beyond Grundy County. They’ve been traveling more and more lately.
Steve Wickham, who is a nurse, draws blood at the midpoint of his and wife Karen’s six-week diabetes seminar. The hemoglobin A1c levels measured by the lab test help patients monitor whether the diet and exercise changes they’re engaged in are making a difference in their blood sugar levels.
The couple just sold their retirement home so they can say “yes” to all the invitations they’ve received, mostly from Seventh-day Adventist groups, to present their program to other communities around the country.
