by Amber Travis | Feb 9, 2016 | Relationships |
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, which can sometimes be difficult for single women who are still waiting for their “Boaz” to come along and sweep them off their feet. The story of Ruth and Boaz is arguably one of the greatest and most popular love stories in the Bible. It’s the story of Ruth, whose heart was broken after the death of her husband but healed by her faith in God. Ruth met the wealthy and kind Boaz while working in his field to “glean behind the harvesters” (Ruth 2). In addition to being protective of Ruth, Boaz admired her loyalty to her mother-in-law and her love for the Lord. As hardworking women of God, so many of us often dream of meeting our hard-working, loving—and sometimes wealthy—Boaz, but what are we doing in the meantime? Here are several things you could be doing while waiting on your own Boaz to arrive:
Complete Unfinished Projects
We all have them. Whether it’s that book you’ve been meaning to write or the new business you’ve been planning to launch, now is the perfect time to regain your focus and get it done.
Enjoy Time with Family and Friends
While in a relationship, it is so easy to spend all of your free time with your partner, leaving little room for time with family and friends. Call up your loved ones for a fun movie night, an impromptu girls night, or even a weekend road trip. Tomorrow isn’t promised, so spend those precious moments with your loved ones while you can.
Personal and Professional Development
There is always room for personal and professional growth, so why not start now? Sit down and make a list of all of your personal and professional goals. Perhaps your goals include going back to school to get your college degree, strengthening your relationship with God, receiving some sort of certification in your industry, or losing weight. Whatever your goal is, it is important that you also write down the list of tasks that must be completed in order to achieve those goals.
Read a Book
Yeah, we know. This may sound like an easy task, but in this day and age, taking time to sit down and read a book is easier said than done. Not only does reading serve as a stress reliever from our day-to-day lives, but it also allows us to educate ourselves on a variety of topics that we may have never taken the time to explore had we not been single.
Spend Time with Yourself
When was the last time you took yourself out to dinner? What about going to see a movie alone? Perhaps you should give it a try. Spending quality time alone is actually a great way to build self-confidence in addition to changing your mindset about needing a partner in order to have fun.
Take Time to Explore What You Really Want
Before jumping into your next relationship, now may be a good time to sit down and really figure out what it is that you really want in a partner. There’s a reason why none of your past relationships worked out, so perhaps it’s time to hit “pause” and really figure out what it is that you not only want in a partner, but what you actually need in a man.
What about you? What are some things you recommend doing while waiting on Boaz?
by Amber Travis | Jan 14, 2016 | Headline News |
I’m no stranger to the tradition of tithes and offering in the church. I’ve sat through more church services than I can count over the course of my lifetime, and this particular part of the service has always been a major part of the experience. And even though I have fully embraced the offering part of this tradition, I really didn’t quite understand or even want to participate, in the practice of tithing until recently. The truth is I really didn’t fully grasp its significance until a few months ago despite several conversations I’ve had with colleagues, church leaders, family elders, etc. So here are five surprising reasons that I, myself, and I’m sure others have had for not tithing:
It’s much easier to just participate in offering instead of tithing.
Take a moment to put yourself in my shoes. Like most people who grew up in the church, the entire concept of giving 10% of my income truly made no sense to me in the beginning. After all, wouldn’t it just be easier to put all of the money in one offering tray, then disburse it as needed among the various causes and ministries within the church? Well, at least, this was my thinking. Of course, I know better now, but you have to admit. That idea makes total sense to a 9-year-old kid. Now that I’m a fully functioning adult with real income, I am more knowledgeable on the significance of giving the Lord 10% of what he has blessed me with. And if this means placing my 10% in a separate tray, then so be it.
Tithing is just another way to raise more money in the church.
We’ve all seen them. They are the various collections that are taken up during this particular part of service that are used for various causes and ministries. There’s the building fund, scholarship fund, pastor’s love offering, sick-and-shut-in donations, deacon board, youth ministry, the list goes on and on. Well, in my mind, tithing was just another way to raise money for another cause. Yes, the funds essentially are used to benefit ministry in some capacity, but I wasn’t really aware of the biblical significance of tithing until recently. The Bible says, “‘Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,’ says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, ‘I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!’” (Malachi 3:10, NLT). Tithing is more of a practice of faith and commitment than just another donation. I think I finally got the memo.
I’m too young to tithe.
Going back to my earlier point, I truly thought tithing was a tradition for the older saints and elders of the Church. I figured that as long as I was in fairly close proximity with a faithful tither, I was surely covered. After all, I was just a young adult, right? Today, I know that the Lord isn’t asking for much. In fact, 10% is something that can be provided at any age. Think about it, growing up, receiving $1 dollar was everything! To take a dime of your money and give it back to God is really not asking for much.
I feel like I’m being forced to tithe.
Prior to reading the Bible for myself and developing a real relationship with God (not the kind of relationship I’ve had throughout my life where someone else taught me how to go through the motions), tithing always seemed like a forced practice in the church, and if you’re anything like me, you’re the kind of person who isn’t fond of being forced to do anything. However, I now know that the Lord loves a cheerful giver, and I genuinely do not mind willingly giving and contributing toward things that I know will ultimately glorify His name. After all, it’s the least I can do after all He’s done for me, right?
You have to be financially wealthy to tithe.
I know I’m the only one who would sit in the pews contemplating whether or not to put money in the offering plate. “The Lord knows my heart.” Yes, I would constantly say that too. My issue wasn’t the fact that I didn’t have money. My issue was the fact that I looked at tithing as just another financial burden. In my mind, taking 10% of my income meant taking away a portion of my income that could be used on other priorities. This kind of limited thinking was actually the total opposite of what tithing is all about. It’s about a personal, intimate commitment to God. It’s about trusting and believing that in exchange for giving only a portion of your income, you will be blessed in ways you never could’ve imagined. Now, that’s a tradition that will never get old!
by Amber Travis | Mar 26, 2015 | Headline News |
Ok, I admit it. Everytime I watch an episode of Preachers of Detroit, I’m left wanting more than the producers are giving on the hour-long show. There are a total of seven “preachers” on the show, but we are only able to peak into the lives of three to four of them per episode. For example, last week’s episode featured Pastor David Bullock, Bishop Clarence Langston, and Bishop Corletta Vaughn. But that’s just it. The truth is you can only cover so much in one hour, but let’s talk about what was uncovered in the hour we were given.
Down with Love or Down for the Cause?
Pastor David Bullock is a young, black, single, God-fearing man with no kids which makes him one of Detroit’s most eligible bachelors. And although there are many women that would love the chance to be the first lady in his life, Bullock says he simply does not have time to date these days.
Even if he did find the time to date, the social activist thinks the kind of woman he’s looking for is hard to find. And exactly what kind of woman is he looking for, you ask? He jokingly—but not jokingly–says that he would love to find a woman who’s down for the cause like Harriet Tubman or Rosa Parks. He’s looking for “the Angela Davis of Detroit.” Ok, maybe not these women specifically, but he would love to find a woman who has a lot of their qualities and a love for social justice.
Well, apparently those closest to Bullock, including his friends and family all agree on one thing. They all feel that his standards are way too high and it might be time for him to be a little more open to finding love with a nice, everyday kind of girl.
So in an attempt to help, Bullock’s assistant sets him up on a date with a young lady who has a lot of the qualities he’s looking for in a potential mate—except one thing. His date wasn’t exactly an Angela Davis, and she didn’t seem too interested in attending future rally’s and standing with Bullock during a demonstration. And she most definitely wasn’t that ride-or-die chick who was willing to get arrested for the cause either.
Suffice to say, that date was a complete fail, and Bullock quickly ended the evening. He just didn’t see himself moving forward with someone who wasn’t as passionate about his ministry as he was regardless of the kind of life his loved ones think he should be living.
But it makes you wonder, “Can you truly be deeply committed in ministry AND maintain a healthy balance with your partner and kids all at the same time?”
Brotherly Love
Next up is Bishop Clarence Langston. In thE episode, the newly-appointed bishop opens up about his strained relationship with his brother, Terrell.
During a sit-down, it was revealed that Terrell feels that it was religion that tore their family apart, particularly because he and Bishop Langston were raised as Jehovah’s Witnesses. Terrell believes that the beliefs and practices of Jehovah’s Witnesses are part of the reason why he pulled away from the denomination and ultimately his family.
Bishop Langston’s brother also revealed that he was going through his own personal struggles that caused him to pull away and even leave his brother’s church which really hurt Langston. Although it was tough to hear, the bishop was relieved to finally learn the real reason behind why his brother pulled away. In a way, it served as closure and allowed Langston to continue moving forward in his spiritual journey to being consecrated as a bishop.
In fact, one of the main events of this episode was Langston’s highly emotional consecration ceremony. During the ceremony, there’s a voiceover of Langston who talks about how relieved he is to take on his new role as bishop now that he has made peace with his past.
A Family Divided
Speaking of the past, Bishop Corletta Vaughn’s ministry has been filled with uplifting the people of Detroit for more than 20 years, but during this episode, she finally admits that it’s actually her family that needs the help now.
We meet Vaughn’s daughter, Shannon, who confides in her mother about her son, Andrew, who sells drugs and has recently experienced being homeless and incarcerated all within a short period of time.
Because of Andrew’s strained relationship with his own father, Vaughn feels that her husband, Gilbert, is the one male figure that might be able to get through to their grandson. After all, Gilbert is the only father that Andrew has ever known.
Unfortunately, Gilbert is still living between two states, Michigan and North Carolina, so being there for his grandson has proven to be a bigger challenge than they originally thought. And of course it all goes back to the same underlying issue. Bishop Vaughn is still struggling with her long-distance marriage and wants her husband back in Detroit with his family permanently, and not just every few weeks or so.
When it comes to gender roles, Vaughn admits that she and Gilbert don’t exactly have a traditional relationship, but she certainly doesn’t believe that she, as the woman, should have to relocate just because her husband has chosen to live in North Carolina. And because neither party is willing to budge, particularly Gilbert, Vaughn is convinced that this is her husband’s way of forcing her to choose between her ministry or her man and walk away from her “assignment” as bishop.
Of course, Gilbert is adamant that he would never do that, but I suppose we’ll have to continue watching to see if any unsaid feelings will surface in the coming weeks.
Unable to catch this Friday’s episode? Don’t forget to come back to UrbanFaith.com for a recap each week.
by Amber Travis | Mar 17, 2015 | Headline News |
Back in 2013, Oxygen premiered Preachers of LA, a new kind of reality TV show that gave the world a glimpse into the lives of several prominent preachers. Fast forward to today and the success of the show has lead to its first spin-off, Preachers of Detroit. The new series, which premiered a few weeks ago, features a new cast of prominent preachers from the Detroit area who promise to keep viewers tuned in every week. The cast includes, Bishop Charles Ellis, Bishop-elect Clarence Langston, Bishop Corletta Vaughn, Pastor David Bullock, Pastor Don Shelby, Pastor Timothy Allen and Evangelist Dorinda Clark-Cole. Just in case you’ve missed out on the first few episodes, here are a few things we’ve learned since the show’s premiere:
1. Men of God Are Flawed Too
I honestly don’t even know where to start with this one. Wait, I know! Let’s start with Pastor David Bullock, the fearless activist of the show. Bullock was raised in Detroit and is a man who is determined to make a difference in his hometown. As the youngest in the group, he also doesn’t mind face-to-face confrontation with some of Detroit’s most influential and more seasoned leaders. The first couple of episodes featured Bullock coordinating a rally to bring awareness to the voting rights of the citizens of Detroit. So far, so good, right? Oh, but wait. It gets better.
Pastor David Bullock (Photo Credit: Oxygen)
Although Bullock means well, sometimes his communication with other cast members can come across as condescending and, one might even say, a bit disrespectful. For example, he referred to other leaders as “ignorant” and out of touch with the community because they no longer live in the actual city of Detroit. All of this comes to a head during a “pow wow” organized by Bishop Charles Ellis—yes, that Bishop Ellis, pastor of megachurch Greater Grace Temple and the presiding bishop of the Pentecostal Assemblies of the World— who serves as the peacemaker of the show. The entire cast attended the meeting in an attempt to get all of the leaders on the same page. But, despite the bishop’s efforts, the conversation quickly turned sour among the group, especially between Pastor Bullock and Bishop-elect Langston whose views on ministry and leadership tend to vary. After a couple more encounters full of insults and egos, Langston finally set up one more meeting in an attempt to apologize for his part in the conflict. Eventually they both realized that they have the same goals, which is to find a way to serve the people of Detroit, and all was well.
2. Males Aren’t the Only Ones Against Females in Leadership Roles in the Church
Bishop Corletta Vaughn, the leading lady of the show, is Detroit’s first African-American female bishop, and as you can imagine, her role in the church hasn’t come without a price, including backlash from male leaders in the church and conflict in her marriage (We’ll get to that part later). But, let’s be honest here. The debate on whether or not it’s wrong for females to serve as leaders in the church is nothing new. Therefore, that storyline certainly wouldn’t have been enough to hold our attention or keep those television ratings flowing.
Evangelist Dorinda Clark-Cole (Photo Credit: Oxygen)
But when the show sheds light on the opinions of other women who also disagree with the idea of females serving as bishops? See, now you have our attention, and this is where Evangelist Dorinda Clark-Cole comes into the picture. You might have heard of her thanks to her huge success as a member of the Grammy award winning Clark Sisters. Well, during the show, we also learn that Clark-Cole is a woman who firmly believes that “it’s a man’s church” and the idea of a woman serving as a bishop is “inappropriate.” Believe it or not, Clark-Cole is not alone. In fact, the wife and daughters of Pastor Don Shelby also agree with this sentiment. We were able to witness this heated debate during a women’s luncheon that was organized by Chrisette Ellis, wife of Bishop Ellis. (Can you tell that the Ellis family is all about unity?) However, the spirited debate came to a head when the topic of the “S-word” hit the table.
It was time to talk about submission.
Although all of the women agree that the term “submission” means something different for each woman, depending on your biblical beliefs and how you’re raised, Pastor Shelby’s daughters were particularly passionate about their stance on a woman’s place in leadership. One of the sisters even went so far as to say she probably wouldn’t vote for a female president because women should not hold those kinds of leadership roles. Yes, you read that correctly. I’m sure as time goes on, we will see how these views change or stay the same. Personally, I’m all about change.
3. There’s More Than Meets the Eye
By now we know that all pastors have a story. Sure, you can find them in the pulpit on Sunday morning inspiring the masses and saving souls, but that is just one part of who they are and where they’ve been. In fact, many of these same leaders are from the very streets that they preach about.
Let’s take Bishop-elect Langston for example.
Bishop-elect Clarence Langston (Photo Credit: Oxygen)
Today, you’ll find the Detroit native rolling in his gorgeous white Bentley and living the lavish life in his beautiful home along with his wife and kids, but what many people don’t know is that Langston has a story filled with drugs, violence and even suicidal thoughts. His biological mother was murdered when he was very young and he eventually chose to embrace the streets of Detroit and live a life of selling drugs and violence. During the premiere episode, he opened up about trying to kill himself by holding a gun up to his head and pulling the trigger multiple times. Fortunately, the gun never went off. And as time went on, Langston eventually received his calling and is now one of the most influential pastors in Detroit.
Like Langston, Bishop Vaughn knows all about having only certain aspects of her life on public display, while there are other things that go on behind closed doors that only you and a spouse struggle with. As if the stress of being a female bishop isn’t enough, Vaughn is also dealing with the current challenges of her marriage. Her husband, Gilbert, actually resides in two states, Michigan and North Carolina, and has been traveling back and forth between the states for more than 11 years. However, lately he’s been spending more and more time in North Carolina which doesn’t sit well with the bishop and has caused a huge strain on their marriage. Hopefully, the couple will find a solution in a future episode.
4. Preachers in the Black Community Still Have a Lot of Influence
One thing that I have noticed throughout all of these episodes is the need for preachers to be involved in major issues affecting the community. Once upon a time, a community—especially a black community—wouldn’t make any major decisions without the input of the local church leadership. I think we can all agree that times have changed, but today’s preachers still have a lot of influence within their communities.
A great example of this was when Bullock was coordinating his rally. He knew that in order for his agenda to change the local voting rights to be a success, he would have to take to the streets of Detroit and reach out to people from all walks of life, including the ‘hood, so he enlisted Pastor Mo, a friend and colleague who was a product of the streets to help recruit attendees for the rally. Sure, Bullock started receiving some traction using the grassroots method, but he knew that in order for the rally to be a success, he still needed more support of other local pastors in the area, particularly Bishop Ellis. Unfortunately Ellis was unable to attend the rally, but it doesn’t change the fact that his influence, like so many other pastors across the nation, is unavoidable.
5. It’s Refreshing to See Positive Images of African Americans for a Change
Regardless of how you feel about reality TV, you can’t deny the positive aspects of Preachers of Detroit. Not only does the show create awareness around the issues that have been haunting the city for years, such as poverty and violence, but its national platform also showcases positive images of the black family unit.
One relationship that is featured during every episode is the father-daughter bond among the pastors and their daughters. We get to witness Pastor Shelby taking his youngest daughter, Amber, on her first date as a way to teach her a lesson on chivalry and self-respect. Towards the end of the date, Shelby gifts his daughter with an adorable teddy bear and a purity ring, which symbolizes her vow of abstinence until marriage.
Another great example is the fact that the majority of the cast are in long-term, committed relationships and support their spouses. Sure, each relationship is drastically different (please refer back to ladies’ conversation on submission), but what relationship isn’t? The bottom line is that viewers are able to see multiple African American Christian couples in long-lasting, monogamous relationships, which isn’t so common in today’s society. So far, all of the couples seem like they’re in it for the long-run. Then again, we still have several episodes to go, so I suppose we’ll have to stay tuned.
Be sure to come back next week for a recap of future episodes.
