Identity is a tricky pursuit. For black women in America, the pursuit is complicated by the stereotypes and image distortions put upon them by dominant culture—both male and white—and the ones into which they are socialized by their mothers, aunts, pastors, husbands, and friends. Every woman wants to be her own person; she wants to know and understand who she is for herself. But black women are shaped, pressed, and squeezed into a universal, truncated identity of superhuman “strength” that superimposes predetermined responses, beliefs, and roles onto an already complex existence. It used to be a source of pride and distinction to be called a ‘strong black woman’ but now women are awakening to the dangers of that double-edged sword. An identity that was thought to be protective and life-giving because it prevented hurt, pain, and damage is now being unmasked as a disguised death because it has brought illness, loneliness, and dysfunction. Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes confronts head-on the ubiquitous identity of the Strong Black Woman (SBW) in her new book, Too Heavy A Yoke: Black Women and the Burden of Strength.
Dr. Walker-Barnes’ work is a welcome addition to a growing group of contemporary books that tackle identity issues of black women, for example: “Shifting: The Double Lives of Black Women in America“, by Charisse Jones and Dr. Kumea Shorter-Gooden, Ntozake Shange’s “for colored girls who have considered suicide / when the rainbow is enuf“, “Sister Citizen: Shame, Stereotypes, and Black Women in America“, by Melissa Harris-Perry, and Sophia Nelson’s “Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle Obama.” “Too Heavy a Yoke” is more in the tradition of Harris-Perry’s treatment of the subject: academic in tone and heavily intellectualized. It is not targeted to the mass market women’s audience, but rather is intended “primarily for pastoral theologians, pastoral caregivers (including pastors, pastoral counselors, and women’s ministry leaders), and Christian mental health professionals whose ministry and services encompass Black women.”[i] Readers outside those categories should be prepared to push through the didactic approach but will be aided in their understanding by the author’s personal transparency and patient delivery.
The book’s readability is also helped along by a logical structure and flow that makes it easy to follow the author’s discourse and to connect the dots from one thesis to the next. Her topical subjects go from a detailed and illuminating profile of the Strong Black Woman (Chapter 1), to naming and critiquing the historical and contemporary cultural forces that shaped and necessitated the identity (Chapter 3), to honing in on the unique role the black church has played in reinforcing the Strong Black Woman identity (Chapter 5), and finally to laying out her model of healing and recovery. Also, the “Purpose and Organization of this Book” section in the Introduction is particularly helpful because she gives insight into why she chose womanist ideology as her framework. Explaining her approach is smart because many black readers in her intended audience, particularly black pastors, are not necessarily well-versed in womanism, and if they are familiar with it, are likely to disagree with its tenets and philosophical slant, particularly those not of the Millennial age group. Case in point: her quotation of Alice Walker’s definition of a womanist: “A woman who loves other women, sexually and/or nonsexually. Appreciates and prefers women’s culture, women’s emotional flexibility…and women’s strength…”[ii]
The author’s profile of the Strong Black Woman is clear and compelling. She draws upon the already-established Jezebel and Mammy stereotypes parsed by Melissa Harris-Perry in Sister Citizen, and the Sisterella personality crafted by Jones and Shorter-Gooden in Shifting, as well as other scholars’ descriptors, for her three-part characterization of the Strong Black Woman identity: 1) excessive caregiving; 2)independence; and 3) emotional strength/regulation.[iii] Using examples of women she’s worked with in her professional practice, she highlights the common behaviors and attitudes that accompany each aspect of the SBW identity. In caregiving roles, these Strong Black Woman:
…took care of ailing family members and…generally were the first called whenever someone had a problem. At work and at church, they could be counted upon to take up the slack when someone else failed to live up to their responsibilities. Often, in fact, they foresaw the probability that the other person would fall short and they stepped up to the plate long before they were asked. …They rarely said no to anyone. …Whenever they felt the weight of responsibility bearing upon them, they ignored it, believing sincerely that God would continue to empower them to serve.[iv]
Walker-Barnes uses analysis of three hip-hop and R&B songs as the backdrop for her discussion of independence, which, she asserts, is basically about self-reliance. Looking to herself for financial provision, the SBW doesn’t need—in fact often eschews—the help of anyone, particularly men. Her comportment labels her as someone with an “internal sense of power and authority.” with a ‘boss’ mindset and who apparently carries this off with mystique-like ease.[v] The author perhaps sees the emotional strength aspect of the identity most destructive. Strong Black Women reflexively repress emotions, sometimes even the ‘positive’ ones. Fear of affirming others’ perceptions of angry black women, she strives for emotional equilibrium, or more precisely, the appearance of it. The author convincingly demonstrates the links of this false emotional strength to ongoing declines in the physical and mental health of today’s black women, urging attention from both the social science and ecclesiastical community and black women themselves.
A hallmark of the true value of “Too Heavy a Yoke” is the final chapter in which the author lays out her model of recovery and healing for the Strong Black Woman. She utilizes a twelve-step framework similar to addiction recovery programs, which makes sense given that she views adherence to the SBW personality as an addiction, a “force of habit ingrained in many African-American women from childhood.”[vi] Any woman who reads this book and can see herself in the attributes of the Strong Black Woman will not be untouched by reading the twelve steps for recovery. A woman who sees herself in the pages of this book will be forced to confront her profound need for Jesus’ intervention in her life, and her utter dependence on that intervention to abandon the strictures of this artificial identity. We all need to lay this burden down, and “Too Heavy a Yoke” can be a powerful catalyst to move us in that direction.
Writer’s note: The themes and ideas put forth in this book will be explored in more detail in subsequent articles in this series
[i] Chanequa Walker-Barnes, Too Heavy a Yoke: Black Women and the Burden of Strength, (Oregon: Cascade Books, 2014), 8
[ii] Walker-Barnes, Too Heavy a Yoke, p. 9 (quoting Alice Walker, In Search of Our Mother’s Gardens)
[iii] Walker-Barnes, Too Heavy a Yoke, p. 10
[iv] Walker-Barnes, Too Heavy a Yoke, pp. 16-17
[v] Walker-Barnes, Too Heavy a Yoke, pp. 29-31
[vi] Walker-Barnes, Too Heavy a Yoke, p. 186
I am glad that these books are examining the multiple issues we Black women face as Christians, women, citizens, members of families and social networks, and workers. We do have to learn to relinquish what we cannot handle–however, our ethnic group could not, and would not, accomplish what it has in over 500 years of constant battle and degradation, without that “Strong Black Woman.” Millions of us stand on the shoulders of all those Strong Black Women who fought–and STILL fight–against injustice, cruelty and degradation in all arenas of life, public and private, including our churches. We shouldn’t be afraid or feel
bad or “less feminine” because someone else chooses to perceive us as “angry,” Often that word “angry” is hurled at us whenever we PROTEST against what is WRONG, UNFAIR, UNJUST, UNDEMOCRATIC, UNGODLY or just plain UNDESIRABLE. Far too many folks on this planet want to SHUT US UP. Frankly, I for one have found that we Black women had to use–and STILL have to use–our alleged “anger” as a source of STRENGTH TO GET SOMETHING DONE. We know from personal experience that we CANNOT and DARE NOT depend upon others to get done what we should do for ourselves. Black women simply do not have the luxury of believing that ANY arena into which we step will be “fair”, or that we’ll be judged impartially, or that opportunities which just magically “open up” for us–outside of DIVINE INTERVENTION. Sometimes our biggest enemies are those who share our ethnicity–men AND women. Often we have to protect ourselves and our families from the
“plantation informants” and “political sycophants” among our OWN ETHNIC GROUP. Our worst employers and supervisors–and those who sexually harass us–are often FROM WITHIN OUR ETHNIC GROUP. So yes, we MUST be “STRONG BLACK WOMEN” and we
shouldn’t be ashamed of the “label”; because WEAKNESS IS NOT AN OPTION FOR BLACK WOMEN. What we need to let go of is the constant pressure to say “yes” to every request we receive to serve on every committee/group/task force at church, city hall, the workplace, etc. and the pressures Black women face to become INCESSANT WORKAHOLICS UNABLE TO REST OR TAKE TIME TO ENJOY LIFE AND LIVING. Too many of our employers do not EVER want us to take sick leave or family time or even our hard-earned VACATIONS! Too many of us are also INCESSANT BABYSITTERS, PERMITTING TOO MANY RELATIVES TO DUMP TOO MANY YOUNGSTERS UPON US FOR CHILD CARE. We often pass this INCESSANT BABYSITTING ON TO OUR PRE-TEEN AND TEEN-AGED YOUNGSTERS, and then wonder why our female children get the idea that babysitting is more important than time spent with GOD, READING, ACADEMICS or CAREER DEVELOPMENT. Too many of our youth have no time to study, complete homework assignments or school projects, because we adults saddle them with childcare responsibilities they should NOT have during school nights–the endless babysitting of cousins, nieces and nephews, godchildren, grandchildren and children of neighborhood friends that happened to “drop by” and “drop off” youngsters that should be supervised by their own parents and other ADULTS. We need to teach our female children to REJECT the “incessant babysitting lifestyle”–a lifestyle that tends to keep them away from
all the extra-curricular and academic programs–the arts, literary activities, pre-college programs, political activism, scouting and sports, debate and chess, financial educational
activities, Christian education and CONSTRUCTIVE church activities, charitable work–that would help develop our young girls and young ladies into well-rounded, competent, EDUCATED Christian citizens with the SKILL-SET and DEVELOPED TALENTS who can lead balanced lives of Christian service AND purposeful careers. We can help young Christian women become women of strength and compassion, women who know their purpose in
life and women who know when to say “no” to the world’s–and the church’s–attempt to squeeze them into compliant submission to a life of constant workaholism at church, home, on the job, wherever!
Charity, thanks for reading and commenting. One of the reasons black women have such a hard time rejecting the StrongBlackWoman identity is because we believe it has served/serves us well. We feel it helps accomplish things that could not be accomplished otherwise. We believe it’s a necessary tool in our emotional and psychological and spiritual toolbox. The problem is that it’s literally killing us. Our physical, emotional and mental health are in fragile and unstable statuses. We are experiencing high blood pressure, cardiac arrest, depression, obesity and other health issues at record rates. That’s a problem. So while we might be able to identify some “positives”, there are far many more negatives. Perhaps there are aspects of the identity that in certain situations do produce desired outcomes, but until/unless we learn to selectively assert those qualities, we can expect to experience the types of issues the author identifies.