Let’s face it. Being single and Christian is hard. It’s even harder to find that person you want to spend the rest of your life with. There are so many factors to consider: age, personality, looks, and spirituality. It can all become a blur. How do you even figure out if someone is a match for you? What does God have to say about it? Here are five powerful secrets to finding Mr. or Mrs. right as a young Christian single.

Serve

The first thing to consider is whether you and the other person are serving the Lord. One of the first things I discovered about my wife was that we were both passionate about serving God and looked for ways to bless others.

In fact, I met my wife preparing for a short-term mission trip. The funny thing is it wasn’t love at first sight for either of us. We continued to serve together at different times and in different places for about four years.

One day I looked up and I realized we were spending a lot of time together and I had stars in my eyes.

Be Yourself

You can’t find the right person for you if you are putting on a mask in public. The person you attract will be drawn to the mask and not the real you.

So don’t be afraid to share your real opinions about things. Put your likes and dislikes on full display.

Yes, some people will be repelled but the right people will be drawn to you. Now, don’t get me wrong.

You don’t want a clone of yourself who thinks and believes the same way you do. You want someone who will be attracted to your authentic self.

Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone

I grew up in a small storefront church in Los Angeles. Most of my family still attends this church.

My heart will always be there, but staying within this circle made my choices for a mate slim.

Once I got out and started becoming involved in leading a Bible study on campus, and eventually going overseas on short-term mission trips, the dating pool started to widen.

I started meeting different people and more people who were going in the same direction I was going. That all started with me stepping outside of my comfort zone.

Decide That You are Dating to Marry

This should be a no-brainer for Christians but oftentimes we just date people because we don’t want to be alone.

Other times it’s just hormones taking over. If you didn’t know, Christians don’t date just to date. We date to marry.

I can remember hearing a sermon about marriage and being a single Christian man. The pastor said that if we’re not going to a hostile mission field or secluding ourselves in the Amazon jungle to find a cure for cancer we need to plan to get married.

That basically put me on blast and I started actively seeking to find the wife God had for me.

Be willing to let go

The last secret is this: Be willing to let go. Sometimes the person you are dating is not the right person.

Still many people go on dating someone when they know that they don’t want to be with this person for the rest of their life.

There are more red flags than a Chinese political rally yet the person still holds out hope that maybe they will change. Most of the time they will not.

It’s best to stop holding on to hope that this person will change their ways or their basic personality traits. When you do that your perspective on the situation changes.

You begin to compromise. You want the relationship to work so badly that you will do anything to make it happen.

Eventually, either you both move on after wasting time or you end up marrying them and committing to a person who is not for you.

Trust God. Be willing to let go.