The Bible says, “A man who finds a wife finds a good thing!” So, my single ladies, are you a “good thing” or used goods? How many more men will you let into your life that simply want to USE you … physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually? Hopefully your answer is “no more,” and you’re ready to give God full control of your love life.
My single ladies, I want to speak restoration, wisdom, and strength into your life right now … so you can walk down a path toward becoming the “good thing” God wants you to be — and perhaps find your own “good thing” in the process.
Another blast of Scripture for you: “A prudent wife is a gift from the Lord ” (Prov.19:14). Well, ladies, if you are a GIFT, keep it wrapped tight. Don’t let the bow slip off until it’s time for the big reveal! Don’t let just anyone unwrap you! You are a beautifully wrapped gift and will be presented to your husband-to-be by God in God’s time.
Listen, sisters, if you’re a single woman of God waiting for marriage, this message is for you. Are you ready?
Y’all better go wake up your girlfriends, and send them this link, because Cee Cee is ’bout to give you some truth for your life right now! If you’re feeling lonely, inferior, desperate, or depressed … this one’s for you. Listen up and check out these 20 nuggets of real-life relationship wisdom, because something here is a message from the Lord to you.
1. No Begging Allowed. If you are feeling rejected by your current boyfriend as we speak … he is not for you. No one should have to beg for affection and compliments. You should never have to ask a man, “Baby, do you think I am beautiful?”
2. Follow Their Example. No women in the Bible put their lives on hold to find a husband. Not Mary, Not Rebekah, Not Ruth, Not Rachel, Not Esther, certainly Not Eve! These women all were busy working and serving when their husbands found them.
3. Pursue Self-Improvement. Work on yourself, ladies. What’s God tellin’ ya? Get an advanced degree, launch a business, redecorate your rooms, learn to create a loving atmosphere for your home, plant a garden, make a scrapbook, write a novel, sew, knit, take cooking classes, take a ballroom dance class, learn how to put up drywall. Then get involved at your church — volunteer to sing in the choir, teach Sunday school, or work with the youth. GOD LOVES WHEN YOU SERVE HIM, and it’s a must to explore your various spiritual gifts while you’re still single!
4. Wait for It. Ladies, this is an obvious one but oh so easy to forget: Please do not have sex with a guy before marriage! This so clouds everything, and you know this! Emotions get attached, or you become physically attached and then may manipulate the guy into marrying you when neither of you are truly ready. Uggh! Not good! Not God!
5. Only God Makes You Whole. Ladies: Please know that you are okay and you are excellent and you are whole without a husband. You must be whole before marriage. Two halves do not make a whole concerning marriage! Marital Math is: Whole + Whole = a Wholesome Marriage. Never say, “I just am not complete without him. He makes me complete! He is the air I breathe!” WHAT?! Girl, JESUS is the air you breathe. Don’t confuse a man with the Son of Man. Keep your priorities straight.
6. Is He Serious About God? If your man does not know the Word, apply the Word, live the Word, speak the Word, pray the Word, and meditate on it, then he does not have his sword — which means he’s not gonna be able to fight for you or your marriage! WAKE UP, somebody! A true soldier straps on his sword every day, baby!
7. Beware of the Bling. “Put a Ring On It?” Not so fast! Do not fall for every ring that comes your way. Anyone can flash a ring at you. Some brothers even recycle rings from the last girl that said no!!!! Whew Jesus! Ya betta go tell yo friends this stuff!
8. Do Your Homework. Before you get too far in a relationship, be sure to ASK if he has ever had a drinking problem, abuse problem, drug problem, if he was abused or molested in any way, if he’s been to jail, got warrants, pays child support, even sees his children, has current pictures of his children, been tested recently for HIV and other STDS. Will he even go take an HIV test for you? And if not, why?
9. Yeah, I’m Going There. If he even seems gay … please just let it go, ladies. My God! Stop the madness for real. Who are his friends? Is he extra effeminate? Does he wax his brows? Can’t live without his guy friends and boy trips? Wake up, woman! You are a COVER GIRL!
10. A Word to the Brothers. The Down Low is on the rise. Pay attention, ladies. (And men, get yourself together. STOP ruining women’s lives just to make yourself look straight on the outside. The truth is gonna come out. Some of ya’ll should get an Emmy for the act you put on. Just get truthful with God. How dare you use a woman and then bring up children in that deception and confusion!)
11. No Shackin’ Up. If you are living with your current boyfriend, consider moving out right now! Pack yo’ bag and go to the nearest sistah friend house, or back to your mama, or get a nice li’l 2 bedroom with a girlfriend and split the rent. Come on, now … there has got to be away that you can be self-sufficient. And if YOU took him in cuz he had nowhere to go, umm … where exactly is that going? Honestly!
12. I Repeat, You Need to Wait. Even if you are engaged, please do not live together to save money … Just have him live with a relative until the BIG DAY! There are options, ladies. DO NOT CHEAT! It is so worth it to move in on that big day! Get prepared, but do not cut corners like that.
13. Garbage In, Garbage Out. Ask him now if he likes PORN. People, this junk will ruin — did you hear me? — RUIN a marriage! And if you are hooked on porn, hit my inbox and let me pray with you right now. ‘Cause U got to come up off of that! It’s fake, scripted, perverse, and passionless. They want you to think it’s what sex is, but IT’S NOT. It is godless and destructive! And it has no place in a marriage. LET GOD direct your marital sex life, not X-rated videos!
14. Get Over Yourself. If you are spoiled and selfish — and you know it — DO NOT GET MARRIED … just keep loving your doggone self. You are a Last Days person … the Lord said there would be many … so just keep being a lover of yourself! Just admit it! Maybe if you face it, God will Heal you from it and you will actually be able to LOVE someone else!
15. Is He Trippin’ on the Past? He got the nerve to hold your past against you? What! OMG! Let it go! If he cannot see the God in you now because he’s too distracted by what you used to be, let that suckah loose! We are new in Christ! All old has passed away… and you walkin’ the narrow way too and he wanna talk about who and how you use to be? Awww nawww player … naw! Cut it loose, baby girl! The accuser type! Diggin’ up your buried past! Later!
16. Be Wise About Online Hookups. Beware of using the Internet to find a man. People ain’t always what they seem to be on here. Some ladies are on Match.com, Matchmaker.org, Hitched.com, BlackPlanet, Eharmony, Emarriage … just a searchin’. First, search the Scriptures, baby girl! Many of ya’ll have wrecked Facebook already, just plain abused it, trying to find a man. Some have ruined other women’s marriages! Sad! Beware, ladies!
17. Does He Prefer the Old You? If you meet a man and he is more attracted to the old, unsaved you than the new, saved you … RUN, FORREST, RUN!!!
18. Get the Big Picture. Check out his family and other parts of his life. Meet the parents! If his dog is scared of him, honey run! If he kicks a dog, he will kick you. If he cheats on his taxes, he might cheat on you. If he lies to his mama and his boss, he’ll lie to you. I am so serious! Ya’ll betta open you eyes!
19. What’s Comin’ Outta His Mouth? If he consistently, and in a negative or pushy tone, says you are: fat, ugly, dumb, not good enough, too much, too little, too this, too that … tell him that he’s too unlike Christ for you … See ya!! A real man will do whatever it takes to win your heart with LOVE, not criticism and abuse!
20. Pray Early and Often. Single ladies, one more thing. If God blesses you with a partner someday, one of the most important activities you will do as a wife (without fail) is PRAY FOR YOUR HUSBAND. Well, why not start praying for him now in advance? It makes for great practice. That way, it will be more of a natural part of who you are when he finally comes. Pray for his health, his thought life, his finances, his heart! Pray in advance! Can’t hurt! It certainly worked for me!
That’s my 20, ladies. I’ve got plenty more, but I’ll let you reflect on these for a minute. Here’s the bottom line: In a mutual relationship, a man will do ONLY what you let him do to you … it takes two. So, call on GOD for strength, wisdom, holiness, and self-control right now. You need the Word more than just on Sunday mornings when Pastor is preaching it. Keep your soul ready, your mind sharp, your hair right, and your muscles tight. Keep smiling and believing, single ladies. This is your day!
In January, during a visit to Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia, to commemorate the national Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday, I was in a small group that had dinner with Shirley Sherrod and her husband, the Rev. Charles Sherrod.
When news broke Feb. 14 that the former U.S. Department of Agriculture employee had gone through with her threat to file a defamation lawsuit against conservative blogger Andrew Brietbart, (the man who thrust her name into the national news), I wasn’t surprised.
That evening, the Sherrods told me that the lawsuit was coming down the pike. They shared that they were determined to make a point and clear their good name.
Last summer Shirley Sherrod went from little-known government official to the subject of national shame and then redemption at Internet warp speed. Brietbart posted on his website Biggovernment.com , who is black, giving a speech at an NAACP gathering where she described her shortcomings 20 years ago in helping a white farmer. In the speech, Sherrod, whose own father, Hosie Miller, a Baptist deacon, was gunned down by a white farmer who was never charged or convicted, admitted to not doing her best for the man because he was “acting superior.”
By now, it’s well known that the full speech was actually Sherrod’s inspirational message — similar to the one she gave at ODU — about racial reconciliation and overcoming her past to help black and white farmers who share the same economic struggles. The white farmer, Roger Spooner, and his wife, Eloise, saw on television how Sherrod was being vilified in Briebarts’s effort to embarrass the NAACP. They called the news media to defend her, setting the record straight.
“I know that only God turned this thing around,” Sherrod told us, recounting how the Spooners just happened to be watching TV and stepped up on their own to help her.
However, the damage had been done as Brietbart’s edited video went viral and the relatively quiet life the Sherrods were leading was rocked to the core.
At dinner, the Sherrods, shared what those hours and days were like last summer. She talked about the strain of the more than three-hour drive home alone down I-75 to Albany from the USDA’s offices in Athens, Georgia, after she was told by phone to pull over and submit her resignation as Georgia director of Rural Development via email. Stunned, Shirley Sherrod was thinking about what she would tell her grandchildren. Her husband’s thoughts were even deeper.
“All I was praying about was that she would just make it home,” Charles Sherrod told me.
He reflected on when, as a civil rights worker, he had first met Shirley while visiting her home to encourage voter registration. Her “beautiful” sisters opened the door, and told him that the oldest was even prettier.
Ironically, Mr. Sherrod (pictured at left with his wife) was the most familiar with this type of stress under fire. He is well known in civil rights circles as one of the key leaders of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee. He was its first field secretary and director in southwest Georgia. Mr. Sherrod and other leaders launched a sit-in at the bus station near Albany State College that led to the Albany Movement to desegregate the city. Charles shared how police had beaten him to the point of certain death, and how he was saved by Shirley Sherrod’s aunt, who shielded him from the baton blows with her petite body.
Had Brietbart known the Sherrods’ history, had he done his homework, he would’ve been skeptical of the edited video clip. That is, unless he had access to the entire speech and deliberately presented it out of context.
Filed in D.C. Superior Court on Feb. 11, the lawsuit names Breitbart, producer Larry O’Connor, and a “John Doe” who allegedly provided Brietbart with the entire speech. It claims that Shirley Sherrod suffered defamation and emotional distress. It asks that Breitbart remove the edited clip of her speech, apologize, and pay unspecified damages.
It’s not about the money, Shirley Sherrod told me, but to make a point against reckless journalism that can destroy lives.
In response, Breitbart issued a statement saying, “I can promise you this: neither I, nor my journalistic websites, will or can be silenced by the institutional Left, which is obviously funding this lawsuit.”
Proving libel is a tall order. Because Sherrod was a public official, it has to be proven that Breitbart was deliberately reckless and knew that he was posting false statements. I think she has made her point, though. It’s one that trained journalists have known for generations and many bloggers also understand: Do your homework. Get the facts straight before you post.