Are Black Churches Hurting Single Women?
In a controversial blog post, writer Deborrah Cooper argues that the Black church is a major reason why Black women fail to find good men. Sure, she’s angry and misinformed, but is Cooper on to something?
In a controversial blog post, writer Deborrah Cooper argues that the Black church is a major reason why Black women fail to find good men. Sure, she’s angry and misinformed, but is Cooper on to something?
Do you know why we have crisis hotlines? We have crisis hotlines because a lot of the teens running around their schools and neighborhoods acting grown have actually mis-defined maturity. They think in order to be mature you have to drink, or smoke, be promiscuous or be a thug. They are basically saying, without saying, that in order to be mature you have to make unhealthy choices. And when the inevitable consequences of those choices hit, the crisis hotline is there to help those misguided teens when they get in trouble and when they get scared.
Each year, right around homecoming, prom, and spring break, the phones at the crisis hotlines ring off the hook. Why? Think about it. Most people are running to buy lingerie, rent limousines, and reserve hotel rooms to celebrate what they consider a milestone: getting a date to a school dance or having a week off of school. Then, around 3:30am the same night the phones at the crisis hotlines start ringing off the hook.
“Hello, this is Susie at pregnancy health center, how can I help you?”
“I’m a little embarrassed to say this, but I think I might be pregnant and I don’t know how it happened!”
Has anybody [ever] seen two naked people skipping down the street, accidentally bump into each other and get pregnant? How, then, can anyone say they don’t know how it happened? The truth of the matter is nothing just happens. Many of these young teens who call the hotlines are not saying that they don’t understand how it happens. Instead, they mean that they don’t understand how their lifestyle choices over the past two years, two weeks or 2 months has lead them to a consequence that they said would never happen to them.
As you discover more and more yourself, your world, and your God to improve yourself, I want to leave you with some good advice.
1. Everything in life has a process. Nothing just happens.
2. You cannot hate the consequence if you love the process that takes you there.
There are consequences to acting off of bad definitions. Sex, something with which many teens experiment, has consequences that include but are not limited to: becoming a teen parent (1 million each year), getting infected with an STD (9 thousand teens per day), having people calling you out of your name, losing a scholarships, breaking family relationships, developing low self-esteem, seeing a decline in grades–
As I travel around the country teaching youth about making healthy choices, I always say, you can’t hate the consequence but love the process that takes you there. I encourage you to be committed to seriously think about the results (both good and bad) that may come from the processes you choose to engage in. And if you want good results, commit, above all else, to these 5 takeaways.
Society is crying out for answers that only the church has, but it often wants them minus the values that make the church Christian. We should resist the temptation to conceal our full message for the sake of secular acceptance.
In the immigration debate, some think children are being used as instruments to gain access to this nation’s benefits, while others see them as a reminder that, in God’s kingdom, the first shall be last.
I’m alive today because God used an urban ministry to bring my parents together, and to lead our family to a more dynamic faith.